What Do You Want In Your Relationship? What Are You Looking For? The Definitive Guide

 

Sometimes we think about getting into a new relationship but do we really think about all of the things that we really want.

  We check out the reviews when buying a new product.  We check out reviews on a potential doctor but so many times we jump headfirst into a relationship without doing a checklist of all the things that we would like for our relationship to have.

I actually would recommend that you make a spreadsheet with the traits of your ideal mate.  

I have a lot of things that I like about men and that is tall men, men who are quiet, and men who have a good sense of humor which is a plus.  He must be a gentle giant and generous.  So I wouldn't mesh well with a man who is loud and self-centered.

I know that this is a little extreme but it is worth it.  You should know what you like to do for entertainment and some of the things that you would enjoy with your new relationship.

If you would like a man or woman to dress a certain way, including that on your spreadsheet.  If you like your person to be religious or not, then that would go on the list.

You will always have some surprises because nobody is perfect, but I had someone tell me that they hated when their boyfriend would wear white tees on his day off from work.

 I asked this person whether she checked out what he was wearing at the beginning of their relationship, and she said that he would show up at her house with a white tee, so I wondered why she was "surprised" that he was still doing this.

Honestly, he didn't have a problem, she did!

This seems like something that is trivial but it can cause silly arguments.  Some men do not like wigs or hair weaves, and if they feel this way, they should not date someone and expect them to change when the relationship gets more serious.

If you like a hard-working man or woman, then don't date anyone who is barely working even if you think that they are cute.

Seriously think about whether or not you could date someone with ongoing, chronic health conditions and be completely honest with yourself. If you are chronically ill, make sure that you disclose this with the other person so there are no surprises.  This is very important!

If someone tells you that they are not ready for a serious relationship and you are ready, then it is time to stop seeing this person if your goal is a long-term relationship or marriage.  This keeps you from wasting your precious time.

Be honest with yourself because life is short to live with regrets. Never think that you can fix someone because they may not feel like they are broken.

The Truth Behind Dating An Unmotivated Man

 The Truth Behind Dating An Unmotivated Man

Hello Ladies, today we are going to talk about what happens when you date an unmotivated man.

So, you went to your local corner store to buy some gum and some water, and as you approach the door someone says "hello, how are you doing today" you start to not speak but you think to yourself "he seems harmless."  You go into the store and you see him peeking through the window and he waves at you.

You pay for your items, and as you are leaving the store he says "you are so beautiful, can I have your number?" You know that you don't really want to entertain this man, but you give him your phone number. You drive about three blocks, and he is calling your phone.  You answer and you tell him that you are on your way to work, and you tell him that you will call or text him later.

When you come in from work you call him, and he is very kind and has the gift of gab.  You love his voice.  He tells you that he is an artist and is the "Jack of all trades."

You ask him about his job, and he says that he just got laid off because his job eliminated his position because of the pandemic.

He says that he is actively searching for work, but in the meanwhile, he sells his paintings.

You start to like this guy and the next month, he tells you that he is losing his apartment, and he has nowhere to go.  Before you know it, he is moving into your place.

You tell him that you are going to support him while he is looking for a job.  Fast forward to four months, he is eating your food playing video games all day, and doing a painting about twice a month.

You ask him "why aren't you looking for a job," he says "I don't have the right clothes and all of the jobs are too far for me to travel."
 You tell him that he can get a job online, and he then claims that he doesn't really know how to work a computer even though you know he can.

You start to notice that he has an excuse for everything.  You find evidence that he is on dating sites texting and meeting women while you are at work.  You confront him, and he swears that he is going to change.  Fast forward to a year, he is still playing video games, eating up all of your food, you just find out that you are pregnant, and you are still the breadwinner in this relationship.

The point I am getting at in this post is you knew when you went into that store that this man didn't have anything going on in his life, or he wouldn't have been just standing in front of the store.

You let him sweet talk you into letting him into your life.  You have this fantasy that you can fix this man and change him into the man that you want him to be.

Ladies, a whole man doesn't need any fixing, he will have a career, car, his own home or apartment and he will not need your assistance for anything.  

Some of these men are unmotivated because you ignored the red flags right away in the relationship. They were always there, but your need and thirst for companionship blinded your common sense.

This man isn't going to ever help you and you need to remove him from your home as soon as possible.  Now you are pregnant without any support and it is your own fault.

Distance yourself from any man who doesn't have his life together, and you will prevent yourself from having a lifetime of pain.

  

Life Wasn't Too Kind To Me

 

This post may contain affiliate links which means that I will receive a small commission if a purchase is made.

Hello everyone, I guess you all are saying "Long time no see."  It has been quite a long time since you all have seen me on this blog.

I have been busy with a lot of projects, health issues, and also some good things that have happened in my life.  This morning, I was thinking about years ago when things weren't so great in my life.

There was a time when I was homeless due to domestic abuse when I was in my twenties.  I quickly removed myself from my abuser, but I found that my life was never going to be the same again. 

Coming from a middle-class background, I thought that I would never be homeless because although we weren't rich, we weren't poor either.  My mom always prepared us for hard times. 

After leaving my abuser, I had to search and search to find an apartment that I could afford.  The search was very difficult because my income was very low at that time.  

I was looked down upon because of my clothes and my financial status.  Some people would not give me a chance at a better life because of my overall look.

Even some family members treated me unfairly because of my situation.  God rescued me, and a lot of people whom I didn't expect to help, me started helping me. These people were people who weren't my own race.  I was amazed at how God worked in my life at that time.

I had to find my own way.  It took many years and a lot of ups and downs because many times my financial situation took a turn for the worse. I became very ill.  I looked for work but I didn't have the clothes, and sometimes I didn't have a babysitter to allow me to work the kind of jobs I needed to improve my situation.

I was stuck!  I always tried to improve myself by taking courses, reading self-help books, or investing a little money into trying to start a small business. 

Many days I woke up depressed.  I had a small child who was depending on me, and I had to try to snap out of it so I could raise her.

It took many years for me to change my life. It was hard as heck.  A few years before my dad passed, he told me "Do not tell anyone your plans, just do anything that you want to do and work on yourself because people are very negative and they will tell you that it won't work out," that was the best advice ever.

  I started a lot of projects and a few failed but many worked out.  I am still not a wealthy person, but I have peace of mind, income, and the ability to create more income and peace of mind.  

My father was so right!  That advice changed my life.  This year, I am going to really branch out and start some new projects that will bring in more money.  I stay away from the naysayers.  Working on myself is the best project that I have ever invested in. 

I have a YouTube channel called SashaMoniqueTalks if you are interested in learning more about me and my life. 

I do a lot of lifestyle content, product reviews, thrift hauls, etc.

A lot of people say that I don't look like what I have been through. God was my answer. He protected me and showed me how to survive.  I learned how to save money and shop at thrift stores so I could obtain a more pulled-together look.  I also shop on clearance racks at major department stores.

This post is not a sob story but it is my story of triumph.  It is intended to encourage anyone who may be going through the same situation.

Love Yourself!

 

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links which means that I will receive a small commission if a purchase is made.

Love yourself!

Today is Valentine's Day, and you are feeling some kind of way because you do not have a date or you just experienced a breakup.  This day is not easy for people who are not in a relationship or just not happy, and they cannot wait until this day is over. 

Last week there were so many commercials showcasing the most fabulous rings, necklaces, and bracelets.  It is a common theme we always see this time of year.  We always seem to watch these commercials with envy, waiting and hoping for that special time when a man will give you that perfect piece of jewelry or gift.

When he will treat you to that fabulous dinner and spoil you, but have you thought about the fact that loving yourself brings great rewards?  I am not going to say that you don't need a man or a relationship but what about loving yourself despite that.  

You made it to another year intact after all the difficulties and struggles that you have experienced in 2020.  It was a nightmare that none of us could have predicted.  Are you going to continue putting your dreams and wants on hold because (he) decided that he didn't want to be in a relationship with you?  The fact that (he) was nowhere to be found when you needed him? The fact that he is a self-centered jerk!

I don't think so!  Put on that pretty dress, paint your nails, order yourself a wonderful dinner, and play the sexiest music to dance to.  Celebrate yourself! Life is short! 

Buy yourself some flowers and spoil yourself.  Enjoy this day to the fullest.  Create that fabulous life that you want. Live without any regrets. 

How to deal with dry skin and low vitamin D levels during the winter months.

 

How to deal with dry skin and low vitamin D levels during the winter months.

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links which mean that I may receive a small commission if a purchase is made. 

When you live in the Northeast in the winter, there is a good chance that you will experience super dry skin.  I have dry skin and am also an Eczema sufferer which means that my skin really takes a beating during the winter months. 

 Constantly moisturizing my skin is a twice-daily routine, and I always have to keep moisturizers in my handbag, just in case. I have dealt with low vitamin D levels for many years because of the lack of sun.

There are some products that I have found to be very helpful in managing my dry skin and making my skin more healthy during the winter months. My doctor put me on a vitamin D regimen that I have to follow to keep my vitamin D levels up.

If you are experiencing this, make sure that you get as much of the sun as you can and buy some good-quality lotions and moisturizers.  Go and have your vitamin D levels tested to make sure that you are not deficient in vitamin D.   

Keep as much light on in your home and moisturize as soon as you get out of the shower.  That will be very helpful to your skin.

Below are some products that I use and they could really help you to combat the dryness.

Aveeno Cracked Skin Relief Moisturising 

Cica Balm With Triple

 Oat Complex, 11 Oz (312 G)

Provence Beauty 4-ounce  Vitamin E Oil

 Instant Body Moisturizer

Sebamed Liquid Face&Body Wash For 

Sensitive And Problematic Skin 

1000Ml/33.8 Oz

Organix South - TheraNeem Organix 

Shampoo Gentle Therape - 12 fl

               

What were your plans before the pandemic?

 

    What were your plans before the pandemic?

For all of us, the pandemic hit us like a Mack truck.  We had hopes of going on trips, opening a new business, or even getting married.  It has caused us to rethink everything that we had planned to do.  In my area, I had seen signs of new businesses that were slated to open, but they were never able to open.

I know a few people who were supposed to get married this year, and every one of them put things on hold. I suggested that maybe they should have a very small ceremony and then have the wedding of their dreams later on.  I wish I never said that because they looked at me like I had five heads.

What I am getting at in this post is the fact that we will have to learn how to live to the best of our ability with the hand that we have been dealt.   You can save up your money so when this pandemic is over, you will be able to take your dream trip. 

 If you really want to get married, you can get married right now.  It is not safe to have big weddings right now, and it will be a while before we will be able to. Be creative and step out of your comfort zone.   If you were not able to open that physical business, you can still open a different type of business online. The pandemic caused so many new online businesses to emerge.  

Some hair stores in my area were closed for a very long time, and I hope that they will consider adding an online store in addition to their physical stores.  This would allow the employees to still make money even though they cannot open their stores.

If you were living in a location where the rent is very high, maybe you can consider moving to an area that is known to be safe but has cheaper rent. I am even thinking about doing this.

Thank God that we live in a virtual world where we are not totally crippled by the pandemic.  Whatever plans that you have can be recreated at another date and time.  Stay safe and protect your loved ones, and when this thing is over, have the biggest celebration ever!  

At-Home Teeth Whitening. Does it work?

                        This post may contain affiliate links

Smile Brilliant Teeth Whitener
The first thing people will notice about you when you smile is your teeth. However, it may be very embarrassing if your teeth are not in good condition. What you need to know is that your teeth may become yellow after some time due to various reasons.

 Even if visiting your dentist to get your teeth whitened may seem to be the best idea, it may be a bit expensive and very inconvenient for those with a busy schedule.

If you are searching for a good product and the best solution to whiten your teeth, Smile Brilliant Teeth Whitener is one of the best products that will give you excellent results.  With this product, you will be able to whiten your teeth in the comfort of your home.

What is Smile Brilliant Teeth Whitener?
Smile Brilliant is among the most popular products that are used for teeth whitening. Unlike other products, this one is backed by scientific knowledge.

You will find this product in two packages which are the non-sensitive and sensitive packages. These packages allow you to choose a teeth-whitening gel according to sensitivity.
Ingredients
This product comprises the following;
Menthol
Carbamide peroxide
carbomer
Glycerin
EDTA

What is included in the package?
The package comprises custom-fitted teeth whitening trays that are handcrafted by dental lab technicians. It also includes the following;

Professional lab service- which receives your impressions. After this, they create a similar model of your teeth which comes in a custom-fitted tray. The finished custom-fitted whitening trays include 1 lower and 1 upper tray.

2 impression trays- These are combined with impression materials to create a mold
3 sets of impression materials- These ones enable you to make your own impressions.

Three-way postage between you and the lab.
Professional teeth whitening gel and a desensitizing gel.

How does it work?
All you need to do is add the professional teeth whitening gel to the trays. After this, you can now wear them and allow the gel to work.

 You should try it for about 45 days if you want to get excellent results. In case you do not get the expected results after 45 days, the company provides a full refund.

Pros
Pocket-friendly
FDA approved
Instructions are very clear to understand
The process is easy to follow
Made in the USA
Prompt customer service

Cons
Time-consuming

Conclusion
If you are searching for a reliable teeth-whitening kit, Smile Brilliant Teeth Whitener will be a great option. Apart from making your teeth white, it also removes stains between your teeth.

Why are you so sad around Christmas time? (Living with domestic violence)

                            

 Why are you so sad around Christmas time?

I can tell you that living in an abusive marriage or relationship gets worse during the holiday season.
There is so much tension in the air because you may have financial issues or it could be a time when your spouse could be drinking more than usual.  You will find that you can be blamed for just about anything.

Your abusive spouse will find fault with just about anything (the kids, your hair, or just you being around.)  If your spouse is cheating, he will find a way to start a fight or an argument so he will have an excuse to leave the home to be with his mistress.

You may think that you are hiding your pain but everyone will see that Christmas is a hard time for you. Keeping "the secret" somehow makes you feel that it is not as bad as it is.  What people will not tell you is, that being in an abusive marriage is shameful to the person who is dealing with it.

Many times you wonder why this person would pick you for this type of treatment, and you will also ask God why???????


Image of snowflake ornaments, courtesy of Pixabay

Many times, domestic abuse starts with something in your past.  A time when you have been slapped or told to shut up and berated by a parent or another adult.  You may have seen your parents get abused, and even though you knew this behavior was reprehensible, you allowed this pattern to show up in your life because it was something that you were used to.

If you are reading this post and you have severe sadness during Christmas and you have been abused; it is time to take action.  Find a way to save your life and your sanity.  It will not be easy, but let me tell you, it will be worth it.

I escaped over thirty years ago.  I still suffer from trauma from what I went through.  Christmas has never been easy for me, but I am here and I am blessed.  Spending precious moments with my family without arguing and being abused is a gift that I can never thank God enough for.

Free yourself!  Let this be the last year that you are scared of what this person will do to you.  Live, live, live!  Take back control of your life!  The best is yet to come!

When is this grown man going to get off his butt and get a job?

Image courtesy of Pixabay 

Hello everyone, I haven't been here for a while but I just wanted to touch on this subject.  For many years, I have witnessed so many ladies going out to work every day, but a lazy man has taken up residence and has fooled you into thinking that he cannot get a job or he has nowhere to go.

Did you ever think that he had somewhere to live before he started seeing you?  Why have you let this man come into your home around you and your children, and he won't work?  He has so many excuses such as; he doesn't have any transportation, nobody will hire him, he has a criminal record, or he cannot take the bus.

You get up every day whether you are tired or ill, and you work, and when you come back home, he is still in the same spot watching TV and eating your kid's cereal and all of the other food.  He cheats on you, and you give him spending money.  A grown man taking money from a woman is quite frankly, disgusting. 

This man is so-called "finding himself" while you do all the work to maintain a home.  Have you ever thought, "When is this grown man going to get off his butt and get a job?"  I am sure that you have, but why have you allowed this?  

You allow it because you feel that you can change him or you think that he will leave you.  You will actually gain more if you just let him go.  He hasn't brought anything to the table and he is blocking a good man from coming your way.


Image of man, courtesy of Pixabay

Ladies, a real man will not let you struggle and carry the load by yourself.  Everybody has a role in a relationship.  We do not have to continue to be a strong person in the relationship.  It is not healthy ladies. 

 You are running on empty without any support.  Learn to say no when these men first approach you about moving into your home.  If he is out to use you, he will disappear and you will be able to distinguish who the right person is for you.  Good luck to you ladies!  The best is yet to come!

Are there women who like their men to be more feminine?

Image of Man courtesy of Pixabay

Hello everyone,  I received a great question that was sent to me anonymously and I am very anxious to give my input regarding this question.

Question:  Are there women who like their men to be more feminine?

SashaMoniqueTalks: So many women like a man who has facial features like a woman, and a man who is quite androgynous.  The perfect persons who would fit this example would be the singer's Prince, Michael Jackson, Boy George, and Adam Lambert.

 There have been rumors of them being gay or bisexual, but I know one thing, there are so many women who are crazy about these men.  Why?  Because they are comfortable in their own skin, and they have a look that is so relatable to women.

You can always count on them to be well-dressed for the occasion and they command loads of attention. Some women do not have a problem with their men wearing makeup and nail polish.

I have known many women who were married, and some still are, to a man who is considered feminine.  As long as the person who is dating or married to a feminine man is okay with it, there is no reason for anyone else to judge.


Image of man with yellow glasses, courtesy of Pixabay

A feminine-acting or looking man can steal your heart with his gentle touch or his gentle ways.  So the answer to you is, absolutely, some women like their men to be more feminine.

What does independence and being independent means to you?

The word (independent) has been thrown around for many years.  It means a lot to me because my mom has always instilled the values of independence.  She let us know from a young age that we had to be independent and that no man was going to take care of us.  Honestly, the thought was a bit scary to me but I could always hear her words "Be independent."

I am independent, but there are times that I think that I am so independent that I will not let anyone do anything for me and this could be a problem.

Independence is standing on your own, and a lot of times it means being alone.  There are so many decisions that you are responsible for.  What I like about being and staying independent is that I am in charge of my life.  I do not have to wait for someone to control me or my actions.  I can live anywhere that I want and come and go as I please.

You see the tree behind me?  It is standing alone holding up its own branches.  A tree is powerful because it provides shade and is very essential to the quality of air that is around us.   A woman is very powerful because she brings forth life.  She usually nurtures her family and her hard work shows.

Being independent is having a strong mind, which means that you do not go with the crowd, you are a leader!  Trusting God is a sure way that you can remain independent because he will strengthen and bless you, so you can do all the things that you set your heart and mind to do.  He is the only one that you can truly trust.  When you are quiet, and still, he will lead you in the right direction that a man cannot.

Stay grounded and trust your intuition!  

*Attention! I would love to answer questions about love and relationships on my blog*

Are you going through a dilemma and you need some advice?  I am here to answer your questions on my blog.  I am not a Doctor or Psychiatrist but I am a woman who has lived through many things and overcame them all and I can give you great advice.
  
You can send all the questions to https://sashamoniquetalks@gmail.com and submit all of your questions.
You can remain anonymous and I will protect your identity.

*Why are you tiptoeing around your boyfriend or your spouse?*

Why are you tiptoeing around your boyfriend or your spouse?

Ladies, I miss you all and I am glad to be back.  I wanted to touch on this subject because there are a lot of women who are dating or married to a spouse that they are really afraid of.  Speaking about this subject is very easy for me because I have been in this situation myself, and I often wondered how this all began.

Being bullied in your childhood whether it is by a kid at school or a parent who does the bullying, sets up mistrust, low self-esteem, sadness, and inner pain.  You learn that this is the way life is, so when you meet this person, they can see by your demeanor, that you are a (victim).  You did not mean for this to happen because you would never pick this type of life for yourself.

Abusive people will be nice at first and then they will size you up and see where you are weak, and they will use it against you.  They may tell you "you complain too much," or make fun of you in some kind of way.  First, you will be a little startled but you will tell yourself that it was (nothing) and you will carry on with your life.  This is the time that you should have confronted that person when it first went down like this.
You didn't trust yourself to stand up for yourself and now you are in this mess, tiptoeing around someone who you love.


How do I get out of this situation?

• Get therapy.
• learn how to say "no" right away.
• Remember that, "what  you see is what you get."
• Tell someone; that you are being controlled or abused.
• Call people out on their "BS" as soon as they bring it to you.
• Love yourself more than you love anyone.
• Leave that monster!
• Trust your instincts and avoid people who are narcissists.

Your husband is abusive to you, but you are surprised that he is abusing your child.

Your husband is abusive to you, but you are surprised that he is abusing your child.


Image of eye courtesy of Pixabay

Hello everyone,
I know I haven't been posting in a while, but I want to quickly touch on this conversation.

Many of you are in abusive marriages and relationships and you stay in that relationship for a very long time in hopes that this person will magically change and be a better person.

He has shown you regularly who he is.   You have done the things that you thought would change the relationship for the better, like improving yourself to be everything that you think he wants you to be.

His abusive outburst towards you was never your fault, and he knows this, but he will continue to batter you because you will not step up and put a stop to this madness.

Lately, your child has been crying a lot, and your mate has been slapping this kid around and battering him.  You have made every excuse in the world, and you are too afraid to step up and do something with your life.

Image of a child crying courtesy of Pixabay

If something happens to your beautiful children, you will hold some of the blame, and you don't want that.  Please take hold of your life.  Men are a dime a dozen, and this man who batters you and your children is a terrible person.

You are patiently waiting for him to get himself together, but get your life together and save yourself and your children before something serious happens.

It is never easy to leave someone but think about what could happen if you stay stuck in an abusive marriage.

Hug your child or children and promise them that you will get out of this situation, and you get out of it and stay out of it.

Get involved with the family court to get all the support that you need for yourself and your children.  If you are in this situation or have been in this situation please leave a comment below.

We can see the beauty in everything but ourselves!

We can see the beauty in everything but ourselves!

It is so funny that we can all see the beauty in flowers, art, music, and many other things, but we cannot see the beauty in ourselves.

I had to confront some things in my life because although I am confident in myself, there are times that I second-guess myself.

My sister gave me a compliment and said "You can do anything that you put your mind to," at that time I was dealing with internal discouragement and self-doubt.

She gave me a strange look but never said anything.  Honestly, I was talking myself out of being great.

Many times when you are going through some things, it is so hard to accept praise, and you also don't feel beautiful.

 The truth is, God gave us everything that we need to create a beautiful life, and we just have to grasp
the concept of being everything that he needs us to be, living our best life, and doing the best that we can.

We are beautiful because of the life we were given.  If you do not feel beautiful, he gives us the tools to make ourselves into that beautiful portrait that we wish to be.  No, we may not look beautiful to everyone, but as long as we can live in our beauty and accentuate the positives that we do have, we will live our truth and grab hold of the wonderful things that we are given in this life.

Be beautiful and be great, accept your beauty standard, and live and create your beautiful life.
Take time for yourself and take the time to just relax and smell the beautiful roses.

 Break the habit of self-doubt and believe that you can do anything and have any beautiful thing that the Lord gives you.

Give thanks to the Lord for giving you this life, and don't be afraid to ask him to help you, and make changes in your life that will propel you to move forward and not be stuck in self-doubt.

Carefully plan your family ladies!

Carefully plan your family ladies!

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Hello Ladies, I just want to talk to you for a few minutes.  I have watched many videos on YouTube and I am seeing young women with very large families.  Five children or more; some of you married, some not.

I think having babies and a beautiful family is essential, but I am seeing too many young moms with many children.  Ladies, you will have to think about how this will impact your livelihood.

How are you going to truly be successful while trying to raise all these children?

When your kids get older, it takes an astounding amount of money to clothe and feed these kids.  If you want your kids to go to college, it would be very difficult to send them because of the financial strain.


Image courtesy of Pixabay

I am not trying to be mean, but I want to see women be able to have a fulfilling and prosperous life. If you have a large family, I take my hat off to you because it takes a lot to properly maintain a big family.



If you have a husband, what if he leaves you or passes away, what will you do?
You have to carefully take this into consideration.

Many of you who have these big families are not able to work due to your family size, and it puts an added strain on Men to have to work extra jobs to provide for their family, that means that Dad is never home, and when he is, he doesn't have time to deal with the kids.


Image courtesy Pixabay

What if you and your spouse pass away, who do you think is going to raise all these kids?
I am not scolding you but please think about your future and educate yourself.  You are better than just bearing a lot of kids.

You are great, be great Ladies!

What is keeping you from sleeping at night?

What is keeping you from sleeping at night?

Have you gotten some bad news, a job loss, or a loss of a relationship?  Maybe you just started a job and you feel that it is not going to work out, so you are up at this hour, thinking about what you are going to do.

We all have things that we are dealing with including me. I am up thinking about my future, and my next move.

Counting sheep is not going to work tonight lol. But, if you see that you are not sleeping for a week, then it is time to do something about it.

Go to your doctor or talk to your local Pharmacist to see if they can advise you and get you back to getting a full night's sleep.

I have restless nights from time to time also, but losing sleep is not healthy because it can cause your heart to race, and it will affect your performance at work.

If you are dealing with depression, please find a Therapist and see if this will help you sort things out.
There is no shame in getting healthy physically and mentally.

Also, don't forget to talk to God about your problems, and I just want you to know that bad times don't last forever.

Well, my friend, I have talked enough, so I will now turn over and get some shut-eye, and I hope for the same thing for you. Goodnight!

Are you looking raggedy because you are not in a relationship?

Are you looking raggedy because you are not in a relationship?

I asked this question because I have seen it many times throughout my life.  Heck, I have even done it and didn't know that I was until I looked at some old pictures.

Life happens and depending on what is going on, you may not even care about the way you look.  I am not talking about being super dressed up every day.

What we don't realize is the fact that sometimes we are depressed and don't even know it.  So what your last relationship didn't work.  Fix yourself up and try again if that is what you want to do.


Image courtesy of Pixabay

If you have removed yourself from a relationship and have to start all over again, remember to stay clean and neat.

Take care of your skin and your health because this is very important.  Style your hair in a simple but classic style that is easy to maintain.

When you are not in a relationship, it is the perfect time to concentrate on yourself and pamper yourself.  Don't be so wrapped up in having a relationship that you lose yourself and your self-respect.

Find some new hobbies, watch YouTube videos to learn beauty tips and fill your days and nights with new endeavors to focus your attention on.

I realized that I come first and to never be so wrapped up in another person, that I let myself go.  Make yourself beautiful no matter what your financial status is.

Never compare yourself to another person because you are unique and you possess very special qualities that God put in you.

He never intended for us to be a clone.  So, beautiful lady take care of yourself and love yourself.

Should Your Child Be Wearing That On FaceBook?

Should Your Child Be Wearing That On And FaceBook?



Hello, everyone, I was on FaceBook and I saw young babies as young as two-years-old and up with boots and outfits that are not geared towards kids.

I am going to tell you all something, it is not cute. Ladies you have to be careful oversexualizing your babies.

It is not normal, and it is disgusting.  Sure, your baby is beautiful and precious but to have them in clothes for grown-ups and posing in a provocative manner is asking for trouble.

You don't know who is viewing these pictures or sharing them with other people.  Please stop doing this because it is not healthy.

There is nothing wrong with giving your child a little lip gloss or even the little makeup kits that some of the toy stores sell and if your little girl is eight years old on up it can be fun for her to play with makeup for kids with her friends at home.

Let your child be in the mindset to enjoy kid things and not things for adults.  I have seen little kids dancing provocatively in front of men and their moms think it is so cute.  Then, when something happens to your child you act like you are so surprised.

There is too much going on right now and you cannot be too careful.  On the other side, I have seen moms monitor everything regarding their children and that is the way to go, mom.

Protect your children and stop with this foolishness Ladies!

I Gave Him My Tax Money To Flip So We Could Make More Money.

I Gave Him My Tax Money To Flip So We Could Make More Money.




Hello, everyone, I received this question a while back and didn't get a chance to address it but I am addressing it now.


I received my tax money and my boyfriend asked me for money so he could flip it and make more money.  He took my money and gave it to a man that he met about four months ago, and he said that he trusted this man with (our) money.

I gave my man $2000.00 to give to his friend and then the man my boyfriend gave the money to, took the money and ran.  We cannot find a way to get in touch with this man and it looks like he was using fake names.

I am so upset with my boyfriend because I had plans to use this money for my children, I have two kids that I am supporting on my own.

This was a foolish move on my part, but I honestly thought that this would benefit both of us.



I am going to say this in the best way possible, it seems to me that your (boyfriend) acted like your money was his.  He conned you into believing that this would be beneficial to you just to get your money.

Honestly, your boyfriend owes you this money because he just handed this money over to a stranger or a friend that he didn't know that well.  I have heard a lot of men talking about flipping money and most of them don't have their own money or their own jobs.

These men are using you and other women to finance their business endeavors. And some of them are actually taking this money and doing other things with it, and then they come up with a sad story after they have taken your money to finance their activities.

You said that this money was for your children.  You should have never taken this money that was meant for your kids and just handed it over.

I am sure that you have learned a valuable lesson from this and think about taking your boyfriend to small claims court to get your money back.  You may or may not be successful, but at least he will get the idea that you are not to be played with.

Next time, tell him to use his own money. Do not allow him to get his hands on yours.

You Put Your All Into Your Marriage And He Let You Down, What Should You Do Now?

You put your all into your marriage and he let you down, What should you do now?




You thought you found the perfect guy and right away you two clicked.  He was not so tall but he was very handsome.  All your conversations with your girlfriends were about him. They actually got tired of hearing his name over and over.

You thought that they were jealous, but they actually thought all along this guy wasn't for you.  So, you continued to date and he asked for your hand in marriage. You were the happiest that you have ever been in your life.

Fast forward four years and you now have two small children.  He never wanted you to go back to work because he didn't want anyone else raising his children so you made the sacrifice to honor his request to be a full-time stay-at-home mom.

For about two years you started to see signs that he was stressed out and he was seeing another woman but you hung in there to try to make your marriage work but now he totally wants out of the marriage.  What should you do?




You and your spouse are the only ones who know whether your marriage is over but I would tell you to not spend too much time trying to make a marriage work that is dead.  Talk to a Lawyer if you think a Divorce is on the horizon.

Your spouse is legally required to take care of your children financially and for you to help you get on your feet and back to work.

Think about going back to school to refresh your skills and make yourself marketable.  Volunteering is also a great way to acquire some experience while you are trying to get back into the workforce.  Keep moving forward and you will be okay.

Are You Feeling Like Damaged Goods?

Are You Feeling Like Damaged Goods?




Many times we have gone through life and think that we have made great strides and we have but, there are some places deep within where we are still broken.

You may have been very successful in your career and then all of a sudden, you are fired from your dream job, and you think of all the things that you have failed in your life. These feelings contribute to us being stuck in a holding pattern and you may be scared to try again and persevere.

It comes from brokenness from your childhood, or even from a spouse who treated you less than kind.  A broken marriage sometimes will signal your subconscious to inform you that you can never be happy, or if you try again, you will never succeed.

You don't realize that whatever you have gone through, you made it through, so that means that you overcame.  That is proof that you don't give up.

The older we get, we sometimes feel like damaged goods because so much time has passed and we feel like there is not enough time left to do the things that we would like to do.

I have been through so many obstacles in life and yes, at times I have those feelings of failure but, I have learned to get right back out there and continue to try again.

Never be envious of someone you think is more successful in life because you don't know their obstacles or their downfalls.  It may even be some negative things coming in their future and you don't know what they are dealing with.  They may be broken as well, but they know how to hide it.

To overcome obstacles means putting yourself out there which means that you can get hurt again but you will never know unless you try.

To truly be happy, you have to be determined to be happy and kind to everyone, because you will draw happy like-minded people into your life.

If you are living with an illness find someone else who is living with an illness as well, to find support but also to support others.

Spend a lot of time with animals and nature because it is very fulfilling.

Know that you will always be able to find another job so don't let a loss of a job get to you. Teach others the skills that you have and share your knowledge freely.

Forgive people who have hurt you but do not allow that same person the opportunity to hurt and damage you again.

People who are on a positive path in life are the ones you can draw happiness and blessings from.

If you notice all your friends are negative and really don't care for you, find a totally different type of friend to allow into your life because you usually draw what you are used to and is familiar to you.

Defeat generational curses and habits that only lead to failure because you don't have to live anyone else story, live your own.

Live and breath success and it will be yours!

Should I Continue To Buy Your Goods When I Cannot Use Your Restroom? (Rant)

Should I continue to buy your goods when I cannot use your restroom?



  My daughter and I like to go to a particular shopping area in the inner-city because you can always find some good deals on clothes, hair goods, linen, and etc.  I grew up shopping in this neighborhood and although the area has been sketchy for some time, we used to enjoy shopping there.

There are so many stores and places to eat in the area but guess what?  We can shop, and eat, but we cannot use their bathroom, we are always told that the bathroom is out of order or straight out told that we cannot use it.

My daughter went shopping in this area this week and she really had to go to the bathroom and it was an emergency.  She was told that she can't use the bathroom and she had to search and search she finally went to a place where she could go but she had to buy something in order to use the restroom.

We have always been told by others to patronize the inner city and their businesses but I don't think it makes sense to continue to support people who don't support us.  If I order food in your restaurant or buy your clothes and I know there is a bathroom and you treat me like a second-class citizen then it may now be a bad idea to keep spending my money in these run-down neighborhoods.

I can go to the mall where there is always an available bathroom and I don't have to ask whether or not I can use it.  I can shop in other supermarkets in different neighborhoods and I can use their facilities.

Some people have told me that a lot of stores are experiencing damage and a lot of people destroying the bathrooms and this is why they are restricting their use.  Well, people at the shopping mall will leave the bathroom dirty but there is always someone there to clean it up and I feel, these inner-city stores could do the same thing.

My money doesn't seem to be important in these areas or I would be treated with courtesy and with compassion.  So many people have physical ailments like myself and should not have to beg to use the bathroom.  We have to know that we are being treated unfairly and do something about it. I guess you really don't need my money, huh?

I do not care about your mom and pop stores if you are not aware of my needs. You have to make your customers your priority.  This is discrimination from our own race but nobody wants to admit it.

I will only support those who support me from now on!

Being Needy Is A Bad Trait And Character Flaw!

Being Needy Is A Bad Trait And Character Flaw!



There are so many people in this world who have the skills and the opportunity to make something out of themselves but there is something inside that tells them that they cannot accomplish anything so they think that the world owes them all the things that they cannot get.

I have to say that there is a population of people that actually need some help because of age or disability but it still doesn't give a person a right to attach themselves to your pocketbook because God will help those who help themselves.

You may think that you do not have control over your circumstance but you do; you have a mind that is powerful to create and give you the answers that you need, and all you have to do is put forth some effort.



If you cannot work, try to do the things that you can do and there will be someone out there who will help you get to the place where you want to be, but if you sit by expecting people to be your savior it will not help you at all.

Surround yourself with people who care about moving forward and are not takers because takers are distractors and they will wear you down.

Work on yourself and concentrate on what you can bring to the table and share yourself if you cannot share anything else.

Try not to feel sorry for yourself because we live in a world that rewards good behavior and our faithful attempts at bettering ourselves will not be void.


I have heard of people who come to America with just Twenty dollars and they fight and find a way to make it in this country because they are hungry and know that they have to make life in this country work.  They cannot afford to sit around and hope and dream of a change; they force the change.

If they can make it, you can, it depends on you making a change and making some careful decisions.  Learn how to save money on some things that you can do without so you can have a little extra money to change your life.  You may say, " I don't have much", well that man or woman who came to this country had a lot less than you.

You can do better and you know you can because living your dream is only possible if you depend on yourself and do for yourself.

A handout is only temporary but a hand up will take you so much further and when people see you trying, they will step in and help without you even asking for it.

Love is gone so what am I going to do?

Love is gone so what am I going to do?


Image Courtesy Of Pixabay.

It is not easy going through a breakup.  Spending time alone is rough unless you are a loner.  Finding new things to do and places to go alone can be so hard.

I have personally decided that I will remain alone for a while and concentrate on health and work on my career.  I am a  loner at heart and I personally enjoy my own company.

We have all these dating apps and websites and finding love is harder than ever.  Being alone is the best time to nurture all the things that you let go of when you were in a relationship.

I have decided to let love go but you don't have to, get yourself ready for new love and another adventure but take the time to find out exactly what you want in your relationship and some of the things that you would like to work on in your life to prevent another breakup.

Knowledge is power and although we cannot prevent some things that contribute to a breakup and a divorce, you can get to know yourself and what you will and will not put up with.  Maybe you will learn to be happy with your journey in life.

Taking trips and making plans are definite ways to get over your failed relationship.  Life is not over!
Find outings that are geared towards single folks, not to find another lover but to find new friends who know where all the hip and happening places are.

If you have let yourself go, now is the time to step up on your hygiene and fashion game.  Be you and be fabulous in your own right.