Are you looking raggedy because you are not in a relationship?

I asked this question because I have seen it many times throughout my life.  Heck, I have even done it and didn't know that I was until I looked at some old pictures.

Life happens, and depending on what is going on, you may not even care about the way you look.  I am not talking about being super dressed up every day.

What we don't realize is that sometimes we are depressed and don't even know it.  So what, your last relationship didn't work.  Fix yourself up and try again if that is what you want to do.


Image courtesy of Pixabay

If you have removed yourself from a relationship and have to start all over again, remember to stay clean and neat.

Take care of your skin and your health, because this is very important.  Style your hair in a simple but classic style that is easy to maintain.

When you are not in a relationship, it is the perfect time to concentrate on yourself and pamper yourself.  Don't let the pursuit of a relationship cause you to lose yourself and your self-respect.
Find some new hobbies, watch YouTube videos to learn beauty tips, and fill your days and nights with new endeavors to focus your attention on.

II've come to understand the importance of prioritizing myself and avoiding excessive focus on others to the detriment of my own self-care. Make yourself beautiful no matter what your financial status is.

Never compare yourself to another person because you are unique and you possess very special qualities that God put in you.

He never intended for us to be a clone.  So, beautiful lady, take care of yourself and love yourself.

Are You Feeling Like Damaged Goods?

Are You Feeling Like Damaged Goods?




Many times we have gone through life and think that we have made great strides and we have but, there are some places deep within where we are still broken.

You may have been very successful in your career and then all of a sudden, you are fired from your dream job, and you think of all the things that you have failed in your life. These feelings contribute to us being stuck in a holding pattern and you may be scared to try again and persevere.

It comes from brokenness from your childhood, or even from a spouse who treated you less than kind.  A broken marriage sometimes will signal your subconscious to inform you that you can never be happy, or if you try again, you will never succeed.

You don't realize that whatever you have gone through, you made it through, so that means that you overcame.  That is proof that you don't give up.

The older we get, we sometimes feel like damaged goods because so much time has passed and we feel like there is not enough time left to do the things that we would like to do.

I have been through so many obstacles in life and yes, at times I have those feelings of failure but, I have learned to get right back out there and continue to try again.

Never be envious of someone you think is more successful in life because you don't know their obstacles or their downfalls.  It may even be some negative things coming in their future and you don't know what they are dealing with.  They may be broken as well, but they know how to hide it.

To overcome obstacles means putting yourself out there which means that you can get hurt again but you will never know unless you try.

To truly be happy, you have to be determined to be happy and kind to everyone, because you will draw happy like-minded people into your life.

If you are living with an illness find someone else who is living with an illness as well, to find support but also to support others.

Spend a lot of time with animals and nature because it is very fulfilling.

Know that you will always be able to find another job so don't let a loss of a job get to you. Teach others the skills that you have and share your knowledge freely.

Forgive people who have hurt you but do not allow that same person the opportunity to hurt and damage you again.

People who are on a positive path in life are the ones you can draw happiness and blessings from.

If you notice all your friends are negative and really don't care for you, find a totally different type of friend to allow into your life because you usually draw what you are used to and is familiar to you.

Defeat generational curses and habits that only lead to failure because you don't have to live anyone else story, live your own.

Live and breath success and it will be yours!

Love is gone so what am I going to do?

Love is gone so what am I going to do?


Image Courtesy Of Pixabay.

It is not easy going through a breakup.  Spending time alone is rough unless you are a loner.  Finding new things to do and places to go alone can be so hard.

I have personally decided that I will remain alone for a while and concentrate on health and work on my career.  I am a  loner at heart and I personally enjoy my own company.

We have all these dating apps and websites and finding love is harder than ever.  Being alone is the best time to nurture all the things that you let go of when you were in a relationship.

I have decided to let love go but you don't have to, get yourself ready for new love and another adventure but take the time to find out exactly what you want in your relationship and some of the things that you would like to work on in your life to prevent another breakup.

Knowledge is power and although we cannot prevent some things that contribute to a breakup and a divorce, you can get to know yourself and what you will and will not put up with.  Maybe you will learn to be happy with your journey in life.

Taking trips and making plans are definite ways to get over your failed relationship.  Life is not over!
Find outings that are geared towards single folks, not to find another lover but to find new friends who know where all the hip and happening places are.

If you have let yourself go, now is the time to step up on your hygiene and fashion game.  Be you and be fabulous in your own right.

Sir, Why Are You So Negative???

Sir, Why Are You So Negative??


Image Courtesy Of Pixabay.

Recently, I was at an event and it was a married couple where the husband said something very negative to his wife, and I thought I was going to fall out of my chair.

I will not repeat what he said, but it was a reference to her looks and her as a woman.  She didn't say anything back to him because obviously, it is something that he normally does.

Mind you, this man is not Prince Charming himself and he should never say that to his wife.  On the other hand, his wife is beautiful, she has large doe eyes and they are really striking.

I am quite sure his wife spoke to him at home about this. What I am going to say regarding this is don't do this to your wife or any other person, have some respect and some class.

Mrs, please keep yourself up because when you don't, men notice.  It still doesn't excuse his behavior, but don't let him see you slipping.

Fix yourself up, and if he doesn't improve, then maybe you should consider making permanent changes in your marriage.

She Forgot She Was A Child (Very Short Story)

She forgot she was a child.

Image Courtesy Pixabay.

 This is one of my short stories and I hope you enjoy it. I like to post them from time to time.

Lena was barely eleven-years-old and she carried the world on her shoulders.  Many times she was scared to smile and people thought she had such a hard exterior.

Lena was wise beyond her years, but she yearned to be free to live like a child because she forgot that she was a child.  Lena was a great student despite what she was going through and she excelled in everything she put her mind to.

She wasn't as hard as people thought she was because, every night, her pillow held her tears and her secrets, in fact, she was very afraid of her future. So she prayed, and prayed, that God would intervene.

God did intervene but it took such a long time. She never gave up her faith and I believe it carried her a long way.  Lena is a nurturer and it is what she is made of. She cares so much and always wants to help out.

Years passed and Lena became a woman, all the pain and inner scars taught her to be strong and it also taught her about forgiveness.  She is now happy and she has the gift to counsel others who have been through what she went through.

This young lady also learned that you are in charge of your own happiness and she refused to wallow in self-pity, Yes, her life was not ideal but with God's help she changed it into what she wanted it to be.

The moral of this short story is to never give up and excel in spite of your difficulties and lean on your faith and it will get you through.

Life Is Not All Flowers ( daily life problems)

Life Is Not All Flowers (daily life problems)

Life is beautiful but sometimes things can come to knock you off your feet and cause confusion and a lot of us women know that most problems fall into our plate, so to speak.

We carry such loads and burdens and people don't realize that it can be overwhelming at times.  We have to be everything to everybody and it is hard to fathom that this can take its toll on our health, mentally and physically.

The fact is, we are the ones who need the pep talk, the pat on the back, and just a listening ear. The most common daily problems can be avoided when you just put your pride down and ask for help or put some of your tasks off for another day if possible.

Don't be scared to say no to some family members who overwhelm you with their issues, you have to step back sometimes.

Turning off your phone and not taking any calls unless it is an extreme emergency is sometimes necessary to take a break and take the time to do some of the things that you love.

I love to plan shopping trips alone so I can think and just enjoy my own company.  This gives me the time to relax and even have lunch alone and I truly enjoy it.

Learn to be assertive and let people know where you are coming from to keep from making excuses and don't let people make you free bad for not helping them.

Please don't let anyone stress you out because stress can cause disease and life is too short.  Find your happy place and live your best life.

(Video) Loving Your Flaws

No matter how attractive you are, we all have flaws.  Some are seen but some are only seen by you but it is still something that bothers you.  Below are videos of people with flaws and how they overcame them.

Changing Your Mindset To Get Ready For A Successful Relationship

                          Changing Your Mindset To Get Ready For A Successful Relationship


Changing your mindset isn't easy because sometimes you are not aware of different things and attitudes you need to change to have success in your relationship.

Relationship Killers:  Jealousy, causing arguments, being a know-it, and giving up too easily.
I have exhibited some of these traits myself because of past hurts and disappointments and it can become as toxic as a Cancer. 

 Learning how to change and work on yourself is the best prescription for this kind of behavior.

There is give and take in a relationship and if no one is not listening or willing to work on your relationship, then, it is dead.

Relationship pointers:  We all have intuition and a lot of times we are correct about the things that we are feeling but what if you didn't judge a person correctly and you are wrong, then you will throw a relationship away without really finding out the truth.  

If you need answers from your spouse or the person you are dating, just ask the question instead of beating around the bush.

Put into your relationship what you want to get out of it.  Show love to get equal love in return. Forgive mistakes if they are minor because you will make mistakes also and you may need someone to forgive you as well.

Try not to look into your spouse's phone because most of the time you will find trouble if you are looking for it.
Do not be a fool in your relationship but try to be a calm and peaceful person so you can enjoy yourself with your mate.

Find happiness in yourself so that you can make your spouse happy too.

Everybody Has Family Rifts But You Can Recover And Move Forward.

Most of us have family rifts and disagreements and sometimes we have problems moving forward.  If the rifts last too long, it can be extremely hard to recover and time can past that none of us can get back. 

 There are times that we let our pride get in the way.  I think the older you get, the more stubborn you get and set in your own ways.  Happiness is within reach if two people can just learn to sit down and talk about the things that went wrong in the relationship.

I have had these situations happen to me as well and it gets very tiring and it kills your spirit.  I believe that therapy is the best way to learn how to communicate in an effective manner.  Some of us don't have the time or our insurance may not cover these therapy sessions.  I know that there are some that have a sliding scale payment and this can make it very affordable. 

 In the meantime, there are ways that you can work on yourself and that is through self-help books.  I am a fan of these kinds of books because you can read them on your own time and you can privately address your personal issues.

I would like to suggest this book if you are interested and you can get it here.  This book is very informative and you will definitely learn better ways of coping and moving forward.

He Was Prince Charming, But, I Didn't Know It! (Story Time)

                                  He Was Prince Charming, But I Didn't Know It!

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen. Here is a storytime for you; from time to time you will find out more about me.

I was a young lady and after going through a terrible breakup, I ran into this man and when I first saw him, I was not attracted to him.  He kept gazing into my eyes and I said to myself " He is weird as heck."  I loved tall, dark, and handsome men and he was only tall. lol. 

 We became friends and I was purchasing a table set from one of his friends; I was in the basement looking at the set and some other items and I heard him tell his friend "  I love her man.  If she let me, I will treat her like a queen."  I had only known this man for two and a half weeks.

I came upstairs and his friend was looking at me weirdly because he could tell I knew what my friend said.  Acting like I didn't hear anything, he put the table in his car, and on the way taking me home he said, " I know you heard what I said but I really mean it." I told him it didn't make sense and I wasn't looking for a relationship. 

 He said, "Please give me a chance" I know that you have been through a lot and I promise that I will not let you down if you  just love me for who I am."  We stayed friends and two months later we started seeing each other. 

 Honestly, I still wasn't interested in him.  He would take me out to eat and also come to my house and cook breakfast or dinner for me he would buy me nice things; mind you, he wasn't a wealthy man.

This man was so sweet to me and I wasn't used to that. He showed me plenty of attention and affection.  He acted like Prince Charming but he didn't look like it.  We spent many years in our relationship. 

 We broke up but we still remained friends.  What I want you all to know is, looks aren't everything.  Share your life with someone who truly loves you and who will put you first. 

If you are broken from a failed relationship or marriage, please get some help for the issues you have so you can find happiness and love. Don't block your blessings!

That man you feel nobody wants may be the man who will hold your heart carefully in his hand and will never disappoint you. 

 He was the best thing that ever happened to me and I wish him nothing but much love and happiness in his life.  Sometimes you will only get this opportunity once in a lifetime but if it ever comes my way again, I will never let it go.

Update:  As of October 2021, this man passed away.  This is a lesson not only to me but to others.  Don't let true love pass you by because life is short. Don't ever take love for granted because you will always carry a permanent pain in your heart for the person who loved you but you weren't ready for it.

He was Prince Charming, but I didn't know it.

You Have Loved And Lost, But, Next Time It Will Be Right.

                                                Miles Jaye, I've Been A Fool For You.

I posted this video because this song just brings back so many memories.  A lot of you will remember this song from the TV show, "A Different World."  It is beautiful and heartfelt. 

 You may be going through a loss of your own and it will take a lot of strength to carry on,   Life is very uncertain but in its uncertainty, there is a lesson to be learned. 

 In a relationship, what you see is what you get.  If you are being taken for granted or cheated on, just know that there is someone who is ready and willing to be the man or woman that you need.

Don't waste your time on people who are not sure whether or not they want to be with you.  Life is short but be sure that you acknowledge the part that you played in any negativity in the relationship. 

Give yourself time to heal and then be open to love.  Love yourself and spoil yourself.  When the time is right, love will come back around, it always does.

Is It Wise To Stay Friends With Your EX?

Is It Wise To Stay Friends With Your EX?

It depends if you had a terrible breakup where you could not talk to this person and they have done very bad things to you in the past.  You must take into account all the things that led up to your breakup. 

 If there was any kind of abuse I would say "Don't Do It!"  You will cause yourself so much pain and suffering.

If this man is in a relationship at the moment, I would tell you to leave him alone because you do not need the drama that will ensue from calling or texting this Man. 

 I have stayed friends with people I was dating in the past because maybe it wasn't such a bad breakup or we have more things in common as friends.

If you can talk to this person and don't have any romantic feelings for this Man, you can chat with him and sometimes go out to the movies and etc.  Do not sleep with this man because you do not want to stir up old feelings that are meant to stay buried.

Be honest with yourself and if you enjoy talking to this person, stay friends.  He may even be able to introduce you to a nice person you can date.