Do you mirror your friends?

Do you mirror your friends?

Over my lifetime I have had friends that dressed the same, act the same, and dated the same kind of people. Some of these people were doing this because maybe they felt that they wouldn't fit in if they didn't.  I never really fit in, so I didn't care to dress the way they dress, or talk the way they talk, and I definitely, didn't want the same kind of boyfriends that they had.  

My friends who did this even shared some of the negative aspects of their friends' lives.  One person, in particular, had gotten pregnant as a teen because her friend did, and she wanted to be a teen mom just like her.  

The problem with this is the fact that the friend (the leader) had a very supportive mom who helped her throughout her pregnancy but the friend who mirrored her friend ended up without any support. 

Her mom was a single parent and she had four kids.  She didn't want her daughter to turn out like her.  She didn't have enough money to have another mouth to feed.  She had warned her daughter many times that she would end up homeless if she became pregnant or if she became incarcerated. 

She didn't realize that her daughter didn't love herself.  Her daughter was actually a very smart young lady, but she had fallen because of peer pressure and because she didn't feel good about herself.  

Her daughter ended up in a shelter for unwed mothers (that is what it was called at that time).  What seemed like a fate that you would not wish on your worst enemy ended up becoming a blessing in disguise.  

She had a lot of services at her fingertips.  She was able to get a trade and have parenting classes, and she started mirroring the positive people who were in her life. 

What started as a negative trait ended up saving her life.  She was able to get a great job, put her child in great schools, and worked on her self-esteem.  You see, that was the main reason why she ended up as a single mom. 

She started counseling to see how and why she felt very low about herself.  My friend totally changed her life around. The moral of this story is for you to surround yourself with people who are doing great things in their life and also learn to love yourself. 

 There was a time when I didn't love myself but I had to reach inside myself to find out about all the great things that I had to offer the world.  I also spent a lot of time alone and I began to love myself.  I started to educate myself quietly so I didn't have to deal with the negative opinions of others. 

I don't care what your life looks like at this time.  You may not have the same things that your friends have. You may live in the inner city and don't have much support.  Start researching different services in your local library and places like The Urban League to see whether they have free classes or groups for someone like you.

Try not to mirror anyone.  Be yourself and work on yourself.  You do not have to be in competition with other people.  You are great!  With a positive outlook, you are going to do great things in your life.