Picking My Battles Wisely.

I have had some things to confront this week that I want to talk about.  Someone tried to get me upset and was really wanting me to argue with them over something trivial. 

 I told the person that I didn't have the time to argue and it didn't make any sense to waste time on something that she was actually supposed to do and missed the mark.  A lot of times, people try to cover up their mistakes by putting the blame on you when it was their fault.

There will be a time in your life when you will decide that all battles are not yours to fight and I am too grown to have to deal with people's insecurities. 

I have no idea why we as women have a problem with dealing with past hurts and feel as if they have to strike out at someone.  What is wrong with talking like a human being and finding out what the problem really is instead of looking for a fight or argument.  Animals act in this manner.

We really have to change as women and as African American women we need to learn how to deal with people in a professional manner.  Yes, I said professional because this person works in a professional job and she has been slacking for months now and she doesn't want anyone to call her out.

Please pick your battles wisely, everything is not a reason to act in such a negative manner and if you make a mistake, just own up to it. You will go a lot further in your career and in every area of your life.  Life is just too short for foolishness. 

He Wants Me But He Doesn't Want Our Child.

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Anonymous Question:  Hello, Ms. Sasha.  I have been on and off with this man for about seven years and we have a five-year-old.

 He will not have anything to do with my child during our off periods.  Looking for excuses to find every opportunity to see me; he also spies on me coming and going from my home.


  I have no idea what he is looking for or waiting to see.  He can be very sweet and then other times he will turn on me.

  We have an only child and when he is in my life, he treats her very well but when we break up, he treats her like a stepchild and I am so tired of him and his immaturity.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am going to come on out and say that this is a very strange relationship because he is trying his best to control you and he is acting immature with your child.

  She has a right to be loved by both parents without conditions.  She is an innocent party in this whole situation.

 He chooses to spy on you because he is jealous and he knows that he isn't acting as he should.  Think about the negative message this is sending your little girl, that it is alright to not contribute one hundred percent to your family and she may choose a man in the future who will not be committed to her or her children and that is a bad message to give a child.

  She will also deal with feelings of rejection.  I cannot tell you what to do in your relationship but it sounds like you are really tired of the way it is going.

 Tell him how you feel and if he isn't willing to change, then it may be time for you to walk away for good.

Old Doors Must Be Shut Closed ( Friendships And Relationships From The Past)

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A very close friend from my past decided to get in touch with me and the friendship was going well but it has hit a snag lately.

 It is no fault of mine but it could be expectations that weren't fulfilled and due to family obligations and her work obligations, we didn't have a chance to really enjoy ourselves in our friendship.

 I want to say that friendships from the past are very hard to reconnect because your relationship will never be the same as when you were a child because you are now a person with a lot of different things going on at the same time.

 I am okay with my friend not being available because with her schedule it is very hard to put a time together where we can have some fun time.

I would like to say that I don't think you should open any old doors from your past because they usually don't do well.

  Sometimes people contact you out of the blue for their selfish needs and after they have gotten what they want from you, they are now finished with the friendship.

Never will I again trust someone from my past and if I do see them, I will talk to them but will not try to restart the friendship because time is very important to me and I do not have it to waste.

God separated you from that person for a reason and it is best to walk in his obedience and you will be a happier person.  A lesson learned!

(Video) Loving Your Flaws

No matter how attractive you are, we all have flaws.  Some are seen but some are only seen by you but it is still something that bothers you.  Below are videos of people with flaws and how they overcame them.

I Am Secretly Getting Married Next Week.

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Anonymous Question:  Hello, Sasha.  I am getting married next week and I haven't told my family and my fiance hasn't told anyone in his family.

  I do not have a great relationship with my mom and dad because they never acted like they cared anything about me.  I feel invisible in my family.

 My sisters are in their own little world and they really could care less.  We are going to Las Vegas and we are talking about moving to Philadelphia.  Right now, I live in Chicago and there are not a whole lot of jobs here.  I  have been looking to make a new start.  I need your advice.


Sashamoniquetalks:  First, I want to say that I am happy for you but I think that you should give your mom and dad a chance to see you get married.

  At least talk to them about it.  You didn't tell me your age but If you are eighteen and over, you have the right to get married if you want to, but the negative energy that will occur if you do not give your family a chance to see you married would be long-lasting.

  You sound like you made up your mind and I wish you well in your marriage.

I Want To Get Married And I Want A Beautiful Ring!

Hello, Ladies. I had a conversation a few years ago with an acquaintance of mine and I am sure that she is okay with me sharing this.  She is forty plus and she has never been married.  She is a wonderful, God-fearing, and respectable lady, and she would be the perfect catch for any man.  She has dated some men and she knows exactly what she wants.

She asked me why I wear rings and who bought them and I told her that some were bought by other people and some were bought by me.  She then asked me why I would buy my own and I told her that, at my age, I cannot wait for someone to give me the gifts that I can give myself.

I have been married, so I was quite alarmed that she even asked me this question but I know that she was just asking a question.  She then said that she was waiting for the big, beautiful, diamond ring that would come when the right guy finds her and asked for her hand in marriage.

She then asked me why I don't just wear the rings on my right hand and I told her that, at my age, it doesn't really matter what hand I used to display my rings.

I am going to keep it real here and say that a lot of us are waiting for a dream that may not come true.
If you are forty years old and over, you should just buy the beautiful things that you want to wear and that fantastic diamond ring that you love and enjoy it.  The man of your dreams will still come if it is meant to be, even if you are wearing diamonds.

Some of us ladies are separated or divorced and we may not even be looking for another relationship but I want you ladies to keep looking good for yourself and spoil yourself if it is within your means.

A statement ring, bracelet, or necklace doesn't have to be expensive.  Never put your happiness on hold because you are waiting for love.  Live now, because tomorrow isn't promised.

Put some money aside and buy that big beautiful ring that you want and wear it with pride.  Love yourself because nobody is going to love you more.

How To Deal With A Stalker.

                                                   How To Deal With A Stalker

Hello, everyone.  There are times that we meet people and right away we have a feeling that this person cannot be trusted and may even have some dangerous tendencies.

  We second guess ourselves and soon we find out that we are in a serious situation and are faced with a stalker.  I have been in this situation and it isn't pretty at all.

  You have to look over your shoulder and also have to deal with the constant phone calls asking you where you are and the threats against you and your family members.

There are many things that you can do and the first thing you can do is change your phone number. If you are getting any threats, please call the police and file a report and get a restraining order.

 Make sure that you tell everyone in your family that you are dealing with a stalker and don't worry about being embarrassed.  If you brush this off, you may not have a chance to save your life.

  Your family should know where this person lives and any information that would be important if something happens to you.  Do not try to cover up for this person, because your life is in danger.

If you met this person online, report the profile and let the website know that this person is dangerous.

 Save all emails and text with the threats that this person made and give copies to your family members so you will have all the proof you need to get this person prosecuted.

Develop a code name if you must call your family discreetly so they will know that you are in danger and they can get you some help.

  Please do not meet up with this person and entertain them at all because this will give them hope that you will remain together.


Note:
Some stalkers are not known but you can still report anything unusual to the police and get an investigation started in this matter.

 Again, save all emails and text so you will have all the proof that you need.

If you have followed all the above advice and this person is still stalking you, you may have to move and get and use a mail forwarding service. Protect yourself!