How To Deal With A Stalker.

                                                   How To Deal With A Stalker

Hello, everyone.  There are times that we meet people and right away we have a feeling that this person cannot be trusted and may even have some dangerous tendencies.

  We second guess ourselves and soon we find out that we are in a serious situation and are faced with a stalker.  I have been in this situation and it isn't pretty at all.

  You have to look over your shoulder and also have to deal with the constant phone calls asking you where you are and the threats against you and your family members.

There are many things that you can do and the first thing you can do is change your phone number. If you are getting any threats, please call the police and file a report and get a restraining order.

 Make sure that you tell everyone in your family that you are dealing with a stalker and don't worry about being embarrassed.  If you brush this off, you may not have a chance to save your life.

  Your family should know where this person lives and any information that would be important if something happens to you.  Do not try to cover up for this person, because your life is in danger.

If you met this person online, report the profile and let the website know that this person is dangerous.

 Save all emails and text with the threats that this person made and give copies to your family members so you will have all the proof you need to get this person prosecuted.

Develop a code name if you must call your family discreetly so they will know that you are in danger and they can get you some help.

  Please do not meet up with this person and entertain them at all because this will give them hope that you will remain together.


Note:
Some stalkers are not known but you can still report anything unusual to the police and get an investigation started in this matter.

 Again, save all emails and text so you will have all the proof that you need.

If you have followed all the above advice and this person is still stalking you, you may have to move and get and use a mail forwarding service. Protect yourself!

Grandpa Wasn't Here But Now He's Here.

Image Courtesy Pixabay

He was tall, dark, and handsome.  He had the gift of gab that could curl any girls toes. His wife was kind and gentle.

 He was a father of many but barely around.  His little boys cried every night because he was in and out and more out than in and they felt rejection at every turn.

  A real father he wasn't. One of his kids was very hardworking and his father was too proud to show his child love.  A pat on the back or a gentle hug was badly needed

Years passed and grandchildren were born.  Mr. PaPa was proud and larger than life.  His grandchildren were his world as his son grimaced when PaPa showed the grandchildren love that he didn't have.

   I guess PaPa thought it was a way of making up to his children if he showed the grandchildren love but that child that just wanted his father to pick him up or tell him that he loved him still needed the love and care that was missing.

This is a lesson to anyone.  Love your children because you can never get the precious day's that were stolen from them

.  You cannot love your kids through the grandchildren because this is unfair and a hug and an apology is all that is needed. It is never too late to do better.  Show love and it will be returned a thousand times.

My Best Friend Had A Child By Another Man.

Anonymous Question:  Hello, Sasha.  My best friend has a twelve-year-old daughter, and she has been married for fifteen years.  Her husband is a very good man and this is their only child. 

 He has no idea that the child isn't his. I want to tell him but I don't want their marriage to break up.  I even know the child's "Real" father.  He has a feeling that this little girl is his but he said that he would be responsible for child support if he gets a DNA (what a low life!). Should I tell the husband?

Sashamoniquetalks:  I think you should stay out of this because it is really none of your business.  You said that she is your best friend and it is not your duty to turn on her.  

In due time the husband will find out but right now this child has a father who really loves her.  Do not break this child's, heart.  The "Real" father doesn't sound responsible and he may do this child a disservice. 

You Wanted Me Dead!!!!

                                                        You Wanted Me Dead!

You made your appearance and I thought you were perfect.  Moved very fast to catch my attention but you already had your devious intentions. 

 You played the game so easily to catch me in your web of deception.  You sought me out because you thought I was pliable and could be molded into anything that you wanted.  Never were you concerned about what my dreams were.

Barefoot and pregnant was part of the plan.  You wanted to manipulate me and I walk behind, not thinking that this queen had God by her side.  I questioned him and couldn't find the answer but little that I knew he guided my footsteps. 

 Battered and broken was my name and he took my hand and gave me courage.  Courage to break free of your devilish scheme. Free to live and free to love.

No longer in your prison that you had planned for me. No longer in the grave that you dug for me.  I am free, never to return to you.  You wanted me dead but now you lay in your own coffin.

Today Is Mother's Day But Need To Get Something Off My Chest (Father's)

Hello, everyone, today is Mother's Day and it is a great day for us mothers who have worked hard and reared our children.  I have to say this Ladies and Gentlemen, it is hard to do it alone.

  I have done it and I would not wish it on my worst enemy but sometimes you have no choice in the matter.  Life throws a curve ball and you have to deal with the hand that you are dealt.  

I want fathers to realize that just because your ex is out of your life, gives you no excuse to not support your children.

He or she may be grown now but they are looking for encouragement and support and even advice from you.  Don't think that they are looking for financial support because that may not be the case. 

Think about the times that your dad took you to play ball or told you that you were doing a great job.  They also had to scold you from time to time; It supported your growth as an adult and as a human being.

Maybe your daughter wanted you to walk her down the aisle or give her advice.  Your nonchalant attitude is not an excuse to totally zone out of her life. 

 Yes, she is grown but she needed that hug, she needed that message to just hear the right words that only you could give.  She wanted to see you hug that beautiful child that she brought into the world. 

 Her scars are there and again mommy has to come with the handkerchief to wipe the tears from her face.

Do you have a heart, heck no!  Your concern is only about you as it has always been. The missing puzzle that can never be found, the voice that is silenced.  The realization that time is of the essence because mortality has no warning.  This is something to think about you guys but not only think about it but do something about it.  Time is not on your side. 

~Why Is She So Ratchet?????~

Anonymous Question:  Hello Sasha, My mom is 17 years older than me and I love her so much but I have one problem, she likes to dress younger than I do. 

 Some of her outfits are really outrageous and she likes to hang around my friends.  My mother was a mom very young in life and she is trying to make up for the lost time.  I am so embarrassed by the way she is acting.  My friends like to be around her.  I just want her to be my mom.  Why is she so ratchet?


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I have seen many of these kinds of mothers when I was growing up and they tend to be a lot of fun but I understand what you are saying.  

Take your mother shopping and explain to her that you don't like the outfits that she is wearing because they are not appropriate.  She probably is afraid of looking old for her age, but, you can find her outfits that are classy and sexy without being clothes that a teenager would wear. Enjoy your mother because she is young in spirit and I am sure that she loves you.

Fun and some Funny!

How to find a good man.

Hello, Ladies.  A lot of you want to know how to find a good man and what characteristics are associated with a good man.  Below you will see different videos speaking on this subject.  Watch these videos and also take notes.

                          Steve, Where Can I Find A Good Man?

                          Steve Harvey's Advice For Successful Women Who                              Can't Find A Good Man

                            How To Find A Good Black Man

                    The Qualities Of A Good Man- Dr. Myles Munroe                                                                                                                          

 

How Could You Do That To Your Child (Commentary)

Image of girl on a swing courtesy of Pixabay

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen.  This week I don't have any questions to answer so I decided to speak on some subjects that I have seen or heard throughout my life.

I have known people who have had children in their teens, and of course, it was a mistake but they decided that they were going to work and go to school in order to improve their lot in life.  These ladies left the state where they were living and moved to an area that is known for having job growth and their intentions were to make money to send back home, to take care of their children that they, unfortunately, had to leave behind.

These ladies go out and find a job and they honor their obligations and send money back home but over time, they will start to disassociate with their children because they want a life of their own.  They will start to meet men and get into a new relationship.  Many times, the man will not know that these ladies have children till a lot of time has passed.

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Unfortunately, the woman usually gets pregnant again and this time, the man is willing to marry them and the young lady will see this as a great opportunity to live a more secure life, but wait, what happened to the child or children that they left behind?  They usually have to continue to stay with grandparents or other extended family members.

The man who married the woman is not willing most of the time, to let the children from the previous relationship come and live in their home.  This woman has given up all her hopes and dreams of being involved in her children's lives.

  She played Russian Roulette with her kids because she honestly was more concerned about her happiness.  Her intentions were to get herself together but she slowly fell into a selfish trap of me, myself, and I.  Her kids didn't matter even though she told them that they did.

I have seen these women in action and most of the time they will have many children with their husbands but will never accept the child that they left behind.  How Could You Do That To Your Child!


Man portrait courtesy of Pixabay

The message in this post is, to stay true to yourself, and follow through with your plan.  If you cannot afford to raise one child then you should not have anymore.

  You are playing with someone's life and screwing up their mental stability because you were not woman enough to mother the children that you already had.  You fell short and you definitely should be ashamed of yourself.

It is never too late to redeem yourself.  If you didn't raise your children, reach out to them and sincerely tell them that you are sorry.  Invite them into your life and never let them go.

~Secrets, Secrets, And Lies They Tell!!!

                                           Secrets, Secrets, And Lies They Tell.

You walk around with a big Kool-Aid smile making sure that everything looks alright to the outside world.  You think you are hiding because you were taught to be strong when sometimes being strong is being weak. 

 You are weak because you are not being real with yourself.  Everything from the outside looks perfect when perfection seldom, exist.

Smiling and grinning when all Hell is falling around you.  Scared to look anything but perfect is your cross to bear.  Everyone knows your secret and the jig is up. 

Scared to fail, scared to shed a tear in public when your heart has been broken numerous times.  You imprisoned yourself without a sentence because you have been in jail since forever.

I don't know why you put all this pressure on yourself because you are loved.  You are loved by the people you are trying to impress.  These are the people who were willing to hold your head and your hand when you cried.  They were here all the time. 

 You didn't trust them because of the way you felt about yourself.  It is okay to be vulnerable because we all have.  Secrets and lies result in brokenness and pain.

Changing Your Mindset To Get Ready For A Successful Relationship

                          Changing Your Mindset To Get Ready For A Successful Relationship


Changing your mindset isn't easy because sometimes you are not aware of different things and attitudes you need to change to have success in your relationship.

Relationship Killers:  Jealousy, causing arguments, being a know-it, and giving up too easily.
I have exhibited some of these traits myself because of past hurts and disappointments and it can become as toxic as a Cancer. 

 Learning how to change and work on yourself is the best prescription for this kind of behavior.

There is give and take in a relationship and if no one is not listening or willing to work on your relationship, then, it is dead.

Relationship pointers:  We all have intuition and a lot of times we are correct about the things that we are feeling but what if you didn't judge a person correctly and you are wrong, then you will throw a relationship away without really finding out the truth.  

If you need answers from your spouse or the person you are dating, just ask the question instead of beating around the bush.

Put into your relationship what you want to get out of it.  Show love to get equal love in return. Forgive mistakes if they are minor because you will make mistakes also and you may need someone to forgive you as well.

Try not to look into your spouse's phone because most of the time you will find trouble if you are looking for it.
Do not be a fool in your relationship but try to be a calm and peaceful person so you can enjoy yourself with your mate.

Find happiness in yourself so that you can make your spouse happy too.

She is asking for a Divorce but I don't want one.

Anonymous Question:  I got married very young to this beautiful lady and we have been married six years.  I am very attracted to her and she is in great shape.  The problem is, that we have one child together but I have put her down many times and made fun of her about her looks.

 She looks fine but I am really jealous of her and very insecure with myself. I have slapped her on many occasions and I refuse to let her go out with her friends because I am scared she will find someone else. 

 She has filed for a Divorce but I do not want one and I am willing to change my way's.  I forgot to add that I have two kids from another relationship while married to her.  How can I get my beautiful wife back?

SashaMoniqueTalks:  You said that you got married very young and you do not want a Divorce but honestly, you did not give your wife the love and respect that she deserves.  I believe that you love her but the way you showed it, confused her.

 What you can do is call her and tell her all the things that you told me and give her space and time to see if she still want to work on her marriage.  You made a mistake by hitting her and I wouldn't suggest that any woman stays with a man who hits her. 

 You prevented her from going out with her friends while you went out and had two kids on her.  If you two get back together,  you must give her space and a chance to enjoy her life and plan some wonderful things that you know she would like.  Make her happy and never treat her like this again.  If you are truly sorry, you may get her back.

How Did I Lose Myself?

                                                   How Did I Lose Myself!


Anonymous Question:  I have been married for two years and I love my husband very much.  I stay at home because my husband does not want me to work at this time.  We do not have any children.  I explained to my husband that I want to start a small business and he got all upset about it. 

We only go places he wants to go and do things he wants to do; it is never about me.  I am bored and depressed. How did I lose myself SashaMonique?

SashaMoniqueTalks:  You said that you love your husband and you didn't say that he is mistreating you.  Sit your husband down and talk to him about this in a calm matter.  

Tell him that you want to make your own money and save it for a goal that you want to accomplish.  Let him know that you want to enjoy some outings with your friends or family and if you are uneducated, start taking courses even if it is online.  

You have a right to work or start a business if you want to. You don't have any children so it isn't any reason you cannot have a job if that is what you want.  A marriage is a partnership and it isn't all about one person. 

Learning How To Adjust After Being In A Bad Relationship Isn't Easy.

Ladies and Gentlemen.  I don't have any questions to answer today so I decided that I would talk on this subject about "Learning how to adjust after being in a bad relationship.

 At some point in your life, you will be met with a relationship that has never bought you any happiness and also a lot of confusion. Boy, have I been there?  It always starts the same. 

 You meet this person and he is attractive and easy to talk to so you decide to go on a date and the night, is just magical.  He wines and dines you and you two have great conversation and for a few months or more, he is the only man for you until you find out that this man has a lot of secrets.

 He hasn't been open or upfront about "Anything" that he has told you.  You asked him about his family or children and as usual, they never have children or they just have one and then later you will find out that this joker is the father of six children that he is not taking care of.

Sometimes you have invested time with this man and will let it all slide because you feel that you are in love with this man. And that is the wrong thing to do because the lies will continue.  

There are always signs such as; being always on his phone, strange calls in the middle of the night, stories that don't add up and never having any money.

It almost seems like you need a freaking college degree to find out the do's and what you should not be doing while navigating your way in a relationship. I have spoken on numerous occasions about using self-help books to see what you need to change in order to have a successful relationship.

You don't have to take a course regarding this subject unless you want to.  Knowledge is power and the more we learn, the more we know.  Educate yourself on this subject.  Here are some books that may be helpful to you.

How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
How To Have A Successful Social Life: Through Better Communication and Relation
Relationship Workshop: How to have a successful relationship that lasts
The Right One: How to Successfully Date and Marry the Right Person

He Stayed With The Other Woman On Valentines Day (Update)

Anonymous:  Hello, Sasha.  I have an update on the question that I had on Valentine's Day.  I told you that my husband stayed with the other woman on Valentine's Day and I am so happy right now because I told him that I was unhappy in my marriage and he didn't give me the respect or the attention that I needed. 

 I could not take it anymore and I asked him to move out.  I felt sad for about two weeks but Sasha, I am so relieved and I have been going out with my friends and really having a good time.  Wasn't aware of how tied down I was.  

He asked me to let him come back home and he said that he really loves me.  I flat out told his crazy behind that I will never let him come back and I am glad that he is gone. Some other opportunities have opened up for me in my career and I am happy about that.  Ten years is too long to be miserable and I got my life back.


SashaMoniqueTalks:  I am so surprised to hear back from you. So glad that you took the steps to fix this situation and happiness and contentment is very important.  That is great news about the opportunities that has opened up for you.  You are no longer tied down and you are free to live and be happy. Wishing you the best blessings and please stay in touch with me.

Vinegar is great for you!

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen:

I have Eczema and I have been affected by it since I have been on this earth.  The itching and breakouts are enough to really drive me crazy.  I have been on so many medications throughout my life and have had the steroid shots and those really make me gain major weight. 

 My Dermatologist even told me to stop taking showers and baths and I have to say, it is out of the question because I love to be clean and smell clean.  

Then she turned around and told me to just bathe in clear water and I started to do that at night only.  I was having a small improvement in my Eczema but nothing significant.

I started researching on the internet and I saw numerous articles regarding bathing in Vinegar.  Over the years, I already knew about rinsing your hair in diluted water and vinegar and it helps with keeping the tangles down and it creates a healthy environment for your scalp. 

 For the last three years, I have incorporated cleaning with white vinegar in my home. I have noticed that my bathtubs and tiles are so much cleaner and brighter.

 Vinegar is the best for your chrome and mirrors.  So let me get back to this bathing in Vinegar thing.  It is really helping me with soothing my irritated skin and I will keep using it to let you know how it is working but right now, I am extremely happy with it.

 I add a cup of Vinegar to my bathwater and after I bathe in it, I immediately apply my medicated creams from my doctor.  If you have been using Vinegar for cleaning or for health, please leave your comments down in the comment section and let me know your results.


You can get Heinz White Vinegar Distilled - 128 oz

You are trying to get pregnant to trap him

Throughout my life, I have known women who meet a man; who is tall dark, and handsome and they make up in their mind that they will get this man and they try to find a way to hold this man down.  

They start manipulating their birth control so they can get pregnant.  Most of these women know that this man does not want any children but they are willing to get pregnant anyway because if they cannot keep him, they will have his baby.

Some of these men have told these women that they better not get pregnant and these women still get pregnant anyway.  I have never seen any of these situations work out because a man should have a right to decide whether he wants to be a father or not. 

 If he is using birth control methods to try to prevent pregnancy and you manipulate his choices, then you will be alone and you will have to live with the decisions that you made.

I Want To Relocate (Now!)

                                                      I Want To Relocate Now!

Anonymous Question:  I am thirty-five years old and I want to relocate because where I currently reside, there are not many opportunities. The problem is, that my parents are elderly in their mid-seventies.

  They are set in their ways and will not travel.  I want to move for a better life.  I would be moving about twelve hours away.

SashaMoniqueTalks:  I would move if there are any siblings that would check in on your parents every day but if you are the only one that your parents can depend on I would say no because your parents need you. 

 Have an open and honest conversation with your parents to see if they will change their minds and relocate with you and another option would be for you to move but not so far away.   If you are two to three hours away, it would be easier to reach your parents if a crisis occurs.

Moving Past Pain And Shame In Your Life.

Today, I decided to do a post instead of a question and answer segment.  Moving past pain and shame is something that needs to be talked about.  A lot of us have had terrible things happen to us and the secret pain that we hold in our hearts is sometimes unbearable. 

 We have to grin and bear it to make the outside world comfortable. Comfortable why? because people don't want to see or know the truth about your journey.

We are shameful because of things that were inflicted on us.  I ask God every day (Why I have to carry this burden.) The burden that wasn't mine but was forced on me.   Trying to move on is very hard but you have to choose happiness. 

 You will never forget the things that you have gone through but God gave us life and what we do with this life will determine the outcome.

In my African American community, we are taught not to talk about abuse or the people who took it upon themselves to torture our souls but I feel that the person who found it easy to abuse and takes advantage of us should be the one who carries life long of shame. 

 The best thing we can do is talk about this situation with someone we trust to release these issues of they will tear us apart emotionally.

We have to stop covering up for someone who is downright evil.  They should be the one who carries the scarlet letter instead of us.

Getting Hit On By Foreigners Because Of Immigration Policy (Commentary)

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen,  I was shopping today in the major shopping area in my town and I was hit on by a man and he was making all kinds of promises about what he would offer me if I were to date him. 

 I found this strange because most men from this particular country do not approach black
women in my town.  I will not reveal the country this man is from.

I went into another store and as I was walking out the door, another man hit on me and was trying to ask me some very personal questions.  I ignored him and kept walking. 

 Walking down the street the same thing happened and I am aware of what is going on.  These men are looking for a golden ticket into America because of the Immigration ban. 

 I want you ladies and men to be very careful because there are many people looking to use American citizens and I am a person who isn't prejudiced at all but I do believe that people should come into this country legally.

I strongly believe, that if you are hard-working and honest, you will be a good fit to live in America but to use American citizens to get into this country and be a detriment to our economy and the well-being of this great country is not something that we need. 

 I am pretty sure that there are some people who are willing to work hard and do all they can to be in this country legally and I am sure that Americans are okay with this.

I will not give these folks the time of day because they are users and looking for the easy way out.  All I have to say is (Keep on Walking).

Everybody Has Family Rifts But You Can Recover And Move Forward.

Most of us have family rifts and disagreements and sometimes we have problems moving forward.  If the rifts last too long, it can be extremely hard to recover and time can past that none of us can get back. 

 There are times that we let our pride get in the way.  I think the older you get, the more stubborn you get and set in your own ways.  Happiness is within reach if two people can just learn to sit down and talk about the things that went wrong in the relationship.

I have had these situations happen to me as well and it gets very tiring and it kills your spirit.  I believe that therapy is the best way to learn how to communicate in an effective manner.  Some of us don't have the time or our insurance may not cover these therapy sessions.  I know that there are some that have a sliding scale payment and this can make it very affordable. 

 In the meantime, there are ways that you can work on yourself and that is through self-help books.  I am a fan of these kinds of books because you can read them on your own time and you can privately address your personal issues.

I would like to suggest this book if you are interested and you can get it here.  This book is very informative and you will definitely learn better ways of coping and moving forward.

He Was Prince Charming, But, I Didn't Know It! (Story Time)

                                  He Was Prince Charming, But I Didn't Know It!

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen. Here is a storytime for you; from time to time you will find out more about me.

I was a young lady and after going through a terrible breakup, I ran into this man and when I first saw him, I was not attracted to him.  He kept gazing into my eyes and I said to myself " He is weird as heck."  I loved tall, dark, and handsome men and he was only tall. lol. 

 We became friends and I was purchasing a table set from one of his friends; I was in the basement looking at the set and some other items and I heard him tell his friend "  I love her man.  If she let me, I will treat her like a queen."  I had only known this man for two and a half weeks.

I came upstairs and his friend was looking at me weirdly because he could tell I knew what my friend said.  Acting like I didn't hear anything, he put the table in his car, and on the way taking me home he said, " I know you heard what I said but I really mean it." I told him it didn't make sense and I wasn't looking for a relationship. 

 He said, "Please give me a chance" I know that you have been through a lot and I promise that I will not let you down if you  just love me for who I am."  We stayed friends and two months later we started seeing each other. 

 Honestly, I still wasn't interested in him.  He would take me out to eat and also come to my house and cook breakfast or dinner for me he would buy me nice things; mind you, he wasn't a wealthy man.

This man was so sweet to me and I wasn't used to that. He showed me plenty of attention and affection.  He acted like Prince Charming but he didn't look like it.  We spent many years in our relationship. 

 We broke up but we still remained friends.  What I want you all to know is, looks aren't everything.  Share your life with someone who truly loves you and who will put you first. 

If you are broken from a failed relationship or marriage, please get some help for the issues you have so you can find happiness and love. Don't block your blessings!

That man you feel nobody wants may be the man who will hold your heart carefully in his hand and will never disappoint you. 

 He was the best thing that ever happened to me and I wish him nothing but much love and happiness in his life.  Sometimes you will only get this opportunity once in a lifetime but if it ever comes my way again, I will never let it go.

Update:  As of October 2021, this man passed away.  This is a lesson not only to me but to others.  Don't let true love pass you by because life is short. Don't ever take love for granted because you will always carry a permanent pain in your heart for the person who loved you but you weren't ready for it.

He was Prince Charming, but I didn't know it.

You Have Loved And Lost, But, Next Time It Will Be Right.

                                                Miles Jaye, I've Been A Fool For You.

I posted this video because this song just brings back so many memories.  A lot of you will remember this song from the TV show, "A Different World."  It is beautiful and heartfelt. 

 You may be going through a loss of your own and it will take a lot of strength to carry on,   Life is very uncertain but in its uncertainty, there is a lesson to be learned. 

 In a relationship, what you see is what you get.  If you are being taken for granted or cheated on, just know that there is someone who is ready and willing to be the man or woman that you need.

Don't waste your time on people who are not sure whether or not they want to be with you.  Life is short but be sure that you acknowledge the part that you played in any negativity in the relationship. 

Give yourself time to heal and then be open to love.  Love yourself and spoil yourself.  When the time is right, love will come back around, it always does.

He stayed with the other woman on Valentine's Day.

Anonymous Question:  Hello Sasha, I have been with my husband for ten years and he only spent two Valentine's Day with me since we have been married.  He spends all his time with his other woman and he leaves and stays a few days.  He likes to start an argument every time he leaves, what can I do?


Sashamoniquetalks:  Hello, this a very sad situation.  Your husband is showing some signs that he doesn't respect you or your feelings.  I am sure that he loves you but he wants his cake and eat it too. You need to have a serious talk with him about your future and if he won't talk, you may need to text him or write him a letter.
You have been married a long time and you don't deserve this treatment.  I am not going to tell you to leave your husband but take this time to work on you and make yourself happy. When working on yourself you will find the right answer that you have been seeking and he will see a new change in you.

Please let me know how this situation turns out.

How To Deal With A Liar

Image Courtesy Of Pixabay

                                   How To Deal With A Liar

All of us have come across people who stretch the truth and we brush it off but this person can be really dangerous.  You will not be able to believe anything that they say.  Some will tell you a story with a straight face and they always had a sob story to gain your confidence.

  They have no trouble asking you for money and they are always looking for someone to finance their latest pursuits.

How To Deal With A Liar:
When you find out that this person is a habitual liar, cut all contact with them if you can.  If they ask you for money, firmly tell them NO!
Closely, evaluate what they are telling is fact or fiction. 

 Treat this person like a Leper even if it hurts their feelings.  Do not invite this liar to family events because they are known to cause arguments with other family members.

A Liar is a thief:
I was always told that if a person lies he will also steal.  This means, if this person is in your home you will have to guard your valuables.  Never leave them alone in your home.

Bottom Line:
Liars are meant to be discarded like trash and you may care for them if they are family but you cannot continue to waste your time because these people are detrimental to your health and they are psychopaths.  

To All Hypocritical Fat People (Plus Size)

I was watching a talk show this morning and a plus-size host stated that most of her boyfriends are much smaller than her.  You surely have a choice who you want to date but I have heard many plus size women say that they absolutely would not date a fat man. 

I am a plus size lady and we have, to be honest with ourselves; if we want a man to find us attractive, we cannot be so one-sided.  I think it is a prejudicial to put all fat men into the undesirable category because it is not fair.

When a man fat shames us, we call them a pig and a fool but we should extend the same to fat women who speak negatively about fat men, Honestly, if you think they are funny looking, maybe you are funny looking too. Would I date one?  Yes, and I have and this man was a wonderful person.

I am starting to see some prime time shows who feature super plus size men and women and I think this is a wonderful thing because plus size people would not have their own show or they always had to be portrayed as a desperate fat woman or a funny fat man. 

 We have come a long way and I love the prime time television show "This Is Us."  In the near future, our children will be able to see some positive role models who are plus size.  Remember (plus size people) will always be with us, so why not embrace plus size models, actor and people in our everyday life.

He Was On Top Of His Game ( Blind Item)

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen.  Here is a blind item for you.

There is a male singer who has a fantastic voice.  Went to an event back in the late 1990s and this singer who was at the top of his game was standing near the wall and nobody would talk to him or acknowledge him.

  I was embarrassed for him because his songs are very famous and have even been featured in major movies.

There were many other stars in the room at the time and they wouldn't even talk to him.  He has a really strong voice and you would know his voice anywhere.  I don't have any of the details why everyone was treating him this way but it is really sad.

Other entertainers were asked to come up on the stage to have a jam session and a well-known Guitarist took the stage along with other singers and still no one ever mentioned his name.  This singer stayed till the party was over but I think I would have left early.

I was even surprised that he didn't even have a date with him.  Talking about a brush-off, that was the ultimate!

Is It Wise To Stay Friends With Your EX?

Is It Wise To Stay Friends With Your EX?

It depends if you had a terrible breakup where you could not talk to this person and they have done very bad things to you in the past.  You must take into account all the things that led up to your breakup. 

 If there was any kind of abuse I would say "Don't Do It!"  You will cause yourself so much pain and suffering.

If this man is in a relationship at the moment, I would tell you to leave him alone because you do not need the drama that will ensue from calling or texting this Man. 

 I have stayed friends with people I was dating in the past because maybe it wasn't such a bad breakup or we have more things in common as friends.

If you can talk to this person and don't have any romantic feelings for this Man, you can chat with him and sometimes go out to the movies and etc.  Do not sleep with this man because you do not want to stir up old feelings that are meant to stay buried.

Be honest with yourself and if you enjoy talking to this person, stay friends.  He may even be able to introduce you to a nice person you can date.

Should I Go Back To School?

Hello, everyone.  A good friend of mine asked me this question and I decided to answer it here.  My friend is in her late 40s and she has five kids ranging from the age of 10 to 23 and she works full time.  

She wants to go back to school to finally get her degree.  She found out her job is going to be laid off and she said that she plans to go back to school, while she is on unemployment.  She asked me whether or not she is too old to be going back to school.

I would never tell anyone not to go back to school because it is great to have an education but I feel that if you have to take out student loans, you will have to pay those back and it can cause hardship. 

 If you are getting reimbursed by your employer it would be worth it.  You are not too old to finish school but it is very important to get a degree in a field that have lots of jobs such as the medical field because we do face a lot of age discrimination when we are in our forties or fifties. 

There are a lot of middle-aged people who decide to start their own business after getting their degree and it is a great idea.  You are the only person who will know whether or not it is financially feasible to go back to school.  I am very proud of you and I wish you the best.

Have You Ever Been In A Bad Relationship But Was Scared To Get Out? SashaMoniqueTalks Breaking Down Barriers

 Hello, everyone.  Have you ever been in love with someone and you just know that you two cannot get along but deep down you really love this person and don't know how to end the relationship?  Well, I have and it is not a place that I would ever like to revisit. 

 I can remember my heart pounding and the tears flowing.  I remember questioning myself and wondering whether it was my fault that the relationship was not working.  Removing myself from this situation was heartbreaking and very hard to do.

This place and space where I was, was not healthy and I knew that I had to make a move to save myself.  Below, you will see some of the steps that I had to take and where I am now, and how my mindset changed.

How I saved my life.

1. Went to the Library and found self-help books to rebuild my self-esteem and to see where I went wrong in the relationship.
2. Learned to love myself and concentrate on all of my needs.
3. I decided that I would not concentrate on looks when looking for a mate and to see what was in the man's heart and that he was genuinely in love with me instead of in lust with me. lol
4. I sincerely prayed for God's guidance and instruction on how to move forward in a positive way.
5. I made the decision not to date for a while and learn to be happy as a single woman.
6. I kept myself so busy, so I didn't feel like I was missing something.
7. Bought me some special gifts for Valentine's Day to celebrate, me.
8. Started a few hobbies that help to keep my mind off, love and relationships.
9. Went to some events alone and still had a wonderful time.
10. Learned how to have friendships with men, without having the pressure of dating.

I have decided that having a relationship doesn't define who I am.  I am wonderful and fabulous, just the way I am, and really glad that I don't have all the drama that was in my life. 

 Trusting your intuition is a way to avoid getting yourself into dangerous and non-productive situations.  You have to realize what all the red flags are and learn to avoid them at all costs.

When you have high self-worth; Men who would ordinarily talk to you will pass you by and that will make room for men of quality to come into your life.

You deserve a life with a man who will celebrate you and who will add to your life in a positive manner.  Life is short; please do not settle for a man who is unstable because you will be miserable.

I Want To Travel Alone, Should I?

Anonymous Question:  I would like to do some traveling this year but I want to go by myself. I have never done this and I feel a little scared but I want to see the world  I am thinking of going to Japan. What should I do?  I will respect your answer.

Sashamoniquetalks:  It is a very nice feeling to travel but you must keep in mind that going somewhere by yourself can be dangerous, You are very young and in my honest opinion I think you should travel with some friends for your first trip because you need to be very careful going to a country you never traveled to.  There is safety in numbers.

MegaStar After Someone I Am Close To. (Blind Item)

Hello, you all.  I have a blind item, just for you.
There is a young Megastar who has the hots for someone that I am close to. 

 This entertainer is known to chat back and forth with this person and "begging for a date."  Did I say "begging for a date"  He is so desperate for attention and he has been at this for about four years.  I was shown the proof.  He is worth many, many millions.

Of course, I cannot tell you who this person is, but it is very easy to figure out who I am talking about.  Twitter is his best friend and some other social media outlets.  His best friend is (Christian) lol

Is She Really His Daughter? (Blind Item)

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen,

Here is a blind item for you.

There is an entertainer who is known to be in a long marriage and he and his wife live the persona of happiness and fidelity.  They could do no wrong in my eyes; I am a big fan of theirs but, I am sad to report that this man is known for good looks and he has a real "distinctive look".  

I have always heard rumors about him which I will not get into right now.  Has a secret daughter.  Now I don't know if he ever claimed this daughter and I have to add that he is African American and she is supposedly bi-racial although she doesn't appear to be so at all.

She doesn't look like him at all and he has other kids and they look just like him.  This lady is very beautiful and she is over forty-years-old.  She is very poverty stricken and if it is true that she is his daughter, then this is really sad that she has to live this way.  

In all honesty, I believe that this star should take a DNA test because of his "distinctive looks" she should have some identifiable features relating to his.

There are a lot of scammers looking to get the piece of the pie, so to speak.  DNA test was not available when she was born but it can definitely rule out the paternity of this so-called daughter.

If she was found to be his daughter, then she should benefit from her father's fortune.

I Am Dating A Man My Family Thinks Is Beneath Me Financially.

Anonymous Question:  Hi Sashamoniquetalks;  I have been dating a man for eight months and we get along very well but he isn't doing well financially.

  He is four years older than I am but he had a lot of setbacks and I make a lot more money than he does.  This man is really generous with the money that he has but my family thinks he is beneath me.

  Sometimes I feel they are right but they don't know how wonderful he is to me I am trying to have an open mind but should I give this man up for a man with more money?



Sashamoniquetalks:  You told me what job you are in and I will not include it here but you are making so much more than he is.  My question to you is; Is he a hard-working man?  

Does he have your back?  You said that he is very generous with the money that he has and that is very important.

 If this man is willing to better himself and he treats you well, I would tell you to stay with him.  Everybody doesn't have the same opportunities in life and if he is a man who isn't trying to use you for your money I say that there is a chance that this relationship will work out.

  You have only been seeing him for eight months and I say that after a year or more you can see where this relationship is headed.  Your family loves you so they are concerned but take your time and enjoy this relationship and if he continues to treat you well, he may be a man you can have a future with.

She Is A Hot Mess ( Blind Item)

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen.
Here is a blind item for you all.  Yes, yes, I cannot disclose who this person is, so don't even ask.

It is no secret that I am a city girl and I take Mass transit.  I was on the bus a few years ago and this lady came on the bus and she didn't have her fare.  She acted like she was out of her mind.  She was dressed in strange apparel from the 1980s.

 You could tell that she was really nice looking in her day.  You could see her rolling her eyes at some of the other passengers.  I put fare in for her because the driver wanted her off the bus.  

 This interesting lady got off in the next three stops and she stomped off almost bumping into other passengers.  I didn't know who she was but when she got off the bus, another passenger said that they were friends with her brother and she had been very famous back in the day. 

 I will not reveal what industry she was in but the passenger said that she was given "Angel Dust" back in the day and she has been tripping ever since.

She led a life full of drugs and she has not been able to work in the industry since the late 80's.  She has a very interesting and pretty name. 

 After this incident, I did a little research and you would be amazed at how famous she used to be.  I believe if this woman would receive some mental health counseling and medication, she really could come back and do great things.

                                           
                                                        SashaMoniqueTalks

Here Is My First Blind Item For The New Year (2017)

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen,

This is the first blind item that I promised you.  Here it is!

Many years ago I went to a concert to see this singer who really used to charm the ladies with his sexy voice.  I was so excited about going to this concert because this singer doesn't perform much in my area. 

 My friend and I got to the venue and we noticed that it was taking long for this singer to come out  and I happen to look in the doorway and he heard the crowd shouting his name and he was kind of staggering, I told my friend " Look At Him, He's Drunk" and she started laughing and I did too.

He came out and he was soooo drunk he couldn't really sing much of his songs and he came out in the crowd and was trying to sing and everyone was laughing at him.

 After a while, I felt sorry for him.  He has a really legendary song that is still played on the radio on a regular basis.  He started singing this song and he was so drunk, he could hardly get through it.  I don't hear of him performing much because he has also lost his voice.

I hope that you enjoyed this blind item and I will not be able to confirm or deny who this person is.