What does independence and being independent means to you?

The word (independent) has been thrown around for many years.  It means a lot to me because my mom has always instilled the values of independence.  She let us know from a young age that we had to be independent and that no man was going to take care of us.  Honestly, the thought was a bit scary to me but I could always hear her words "Be independent."

I am independent, but there are times that I think that I am so independent that I will not let anyone do anything for me and this could be a problem.

Independence is standing on your own, and a lot of times it means being alone.  There are so many decisions that you are responsible for.  What I like about being and staying independent is that I am in charge of my life.  I do not have to wait for someone to control me or my actions.  I can live anywhere that I want and come and go as I please.

You see the tree behind me?  It is standing alone holding up its own branches.  A tree is powerful because it provides shade and is very essential to the quality of air that is around us.   A woman is very powerful because she brings forth life.  She usually nurtures her family and her hard work shows.

Being independent is having a strong mind, which means that you do not go with the crowd, you are a leader!  Trusting God is a sure way that you can remain independent because he will strengthen and bless you, so you can do all the things that you set your heart and mind to do.  He is the only one that you can truly trust.  When you are quiet, and still, he will lead you in the right direction that a man cannot.

Stay grounded and trust your intuition!  

*Attention! I would love to answer questions about love and relationships on my blog*

Are you going through a dilemma and you need some advice?  I am here to answer your questions on my blog.  I am not a Doctor or Psychiatrist but I am a woman who has lived through many things and overcame them all and I can give you great advice.
  
You can send all the questions to https://sashamoniquetalks@gmail.com and submit all of your questions.
You can remain anonymous and I will protect your identity.

*Why are you tiptoeing around your boyfriend or your spouse?*

Why are you tiptoeing around your boyfriend or your spouse?

Ladies, I miss you all and I am glad to be back.  I wanted to touch on this subject because there are a lot of women who are dating or married to a spouse that they are really afraid of.  Speaking about this subject is very easy for me because I have been in this situation myself, and I often wondered how this all began.

Being bullied in your childhood whether it is by a kid at school or a parent who does the bullying, sets up mistrust, low self-esteem, sadness, and inner pain.  You learn that this is the way life is, so when you meet this person, they can see by your demeanor, that you are a (victim).  You did not mean for this to happen because you would never pick this type of life for yourself.

Abusive people will be nice at first and then they will size you up and see where you are weak, and they will use it against you.  They may tell you "you complain too much," or make fun of you in some kind of way.  First, you will be a little startled but you will tell yourself that it was (nothing) and you will carry on with your life.  This is the time that you should have confronted that person when it first went down like this.
You didn't trust yourself to stand up for yourself and now you are in this mess, tiptoeing around someone who you love.


How do I get out of this situation?

• Get therapy.
• learn how to say "no" right away.
• Remember that, "what  you see is what you get."
• Tell someone; that you are being controlled or abused.
• Call people out on their "BS" as soon as they bring it to you.
• Love yourself more than you love anyone.
• Leave that monster!
• Trust your instincts and avoid people who are narcissists.

Your husband is abusive to you, but you are surprised that he is abusing your child.

Your husband is abusive to you, but you are surprised that he is abusing your child.


Image of eye courtesy of Pixabay

Hello everyone,
I know I haven't been posting in a while, but I want to quickly touch on this conversation.

Many of you are in abusive marriages and relationships and you stay in that relationship for a very long time in hopes that this person will magically change and be a better person.

He has shown you regularly who he is.   You have done the things that you thought would change the relationship for the better, like improving yourself to be everything that you think he wants you to be.

His abusive outburst towards you was never your fault, and he knows this, but he will continue to batter you because you will not step up and put a stop to this madness.

Lately, your child has been crying a lot, and your mate has been slapping this kid around and battering him.  You have made every excuse in the world, and you are too afraid to step up and do something with your life.

Image of a child crying courtesy of Pixabay

If something happens to your beautiful children, you will hold some of the blame, and you don't want that.  Please take hold of your life.  Men are a dime a dozen, and this man who batters you and your children is a terrible person.

You are patiently waiting for him to get himself together, but get your life together and save yourself and your children before something serious happens.

It is never easy to leave someone but think about what could happen if you stay stuck in an abusive marriage.

Hug your child or children and promise them that you will get out of this situation, and you get out of it and stay out of it.

Get involved with the family court to get all the support that you need for yourself and your children.  If you are in this situation or have been in this situation please leave a comment below.

We can see the beauty in everything but ourselves!

We can see the beauty in everything but ourselves!

It is so funny that we can all see the beauty in flowers, art, music, and many other things, but we cannot see the beauty in ourselves.

I had to confront some things in my life because although I am confident in myself, there are times that I second-guess myself.

My sister gave me a compliment and said "You can do anything that you put your mind to," at that time I was dealing with internal discouragement and self-doubt.

She gave me a strange look but never said anything.  Honestly, I was talking myself out of being great.

Many times when you are going through some things, it is so hard to accept praise, and you also don't feel beautiful.

 The truth is, God gave us everything that we need to create a beautiful life, and we just have to grasp
the concept of being everything that he needs us to be, living our best life, and doing the best that we can.

We are beautiful because of the life we were given.  If you do not feel beautiful, he gives us the tools to make ourselves into that beautiful portrait that we wish to be.  No, we may not look beautiful to everyone, but as long as we can live in our beauty and accentuate the positives that we do have, we will live our truth and grab hold of the wonderful things that we are given in this life.

Be beautiful and be great, accept your beauty standard, and live and create your beautiful life.
Take time for yourself and take the time to just relax and smell the beautiful roses.

 Break the habit of self-doubt and believe that you can do anything and have any beautiful thing that the Lord gives you.

Give thanks to the Lord for giving you this life, and don't be afraid to ask him to help you, and make changes in your life that will propel you to move forward and not be stuck in self-doubt.

Carefully plan your family ladies!

Carefully plan your family ladies!

Image courtesy of Pixabay

Hello Ladies, I just want to talk to you for a few minutes.  I have watched many videos on YouTube and I am seeing young women with very large families.  Five children or more; some of you married, some not.

I think having babies and a beautiful family is essential, but I am seeing too many young moms with many children.  Ladies, you will have to think about how this will impact your livelihood.

How are you going to truly be successful while trying to raise all these children?

When your kids get older, it takes an astounding amount of money to clothe and feed these kids.  If you want your kids to go to college, it would be very difficult to send them because of the financial strain.


Image courtesy of Pixabay

I am not trying to be mean, but I want to see women be able to have a fulfilling and prosperous life. If you have a large family, I take my hat off to you because it takes a lot to properly maintain a big family.



If you have a husband, what if he leaves you or passes away, what will you do?
You have to carefully take this into consideration.

Many of you who have these big families are not able to work due to your family size, and it puts an added strain on Men to have to work extra jobs to provide for their family, that means that Dad is never home, and when he is, he doesn't have time to deal with the kids.


Image courtesy Pixabay

What if you and your spouse pass away, who do you think is going to raise all these kids?
I am not scolding you but please think about your future and educate yourself.  You are better than just bearing a lot of kids.

You are great, be great Ladies!

What is keeping you from sleeping at night?

What is keeping you from sleeping at night?

Have you gotten some bad news, a job loss, or a loss of a relationship?  Maybe you just started a job and you feel that it is not going to work out, so you are up at this hour, thinking about what you are going to do.

We all have things that we are dealing with including me. I am up thinking about my future, and my next move.

Counting sheep is not going to work tonight lol. But, if you see that you are not sleeping for a week, then it is time to do something about it.

Go to your doctor or talk to your local Pharmacist to see if they can advise you and get you back to getting a full night's sleep.

I have restless nights from time to time also, but losing sleep is not healthy because it can cause your heart to race, and it will affect your performance at work.

If you are dealing with depression, please find a Therapist and see if this will help you sort things out.
There is no shame in getting healthy physically and mentally.

Also, don't forget to talk to God about your problems, and I just want you to know that bad times don't last forever.

Well, my friend, I have talked enough, so I will now turn over and get some shut-eye, and I hope for the same thing for you. Goodnight!