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Tuesday, November 15, 2022

How do you come to terms with a failed relationship?

How do you come to terms with a failed relationship?

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Rarely do relationships start out on a bad footing, but if you can think back you can see little signs that you disregarded.  Like, he was very attentive to your appearance.  He told you that you were beautiful every chance that he got.

He took you around all of his friends, bragged about all of your accomplishments, and took you to beautiful restaurants every weekend.

Then one day you spoke to him, and he wouldn't even look you in the eye.  You told him that you wanted to go and see the latest movie and he growled at you and said "No."   You called your best friend, and you told her that he was acting differently in the relationship.  He was very distant.  She wanted to know the details and when all of this started.  You said, "it started a month ago."

The last straw was when you were going to your friend's wedding, and you told him that he had to go shopping to get a new suit. He flatly refused and said (I am not going).   In the end, he ended up going, but he acted like you didn't exist.    He told you that you looked fat and horrible in your new dress. Looked at every woman that he saw and complimented her on her outfit and hairdo.    You then asked yourself what did you do wrong.


Well, you weren't responsible for his actions but you disregarded your own feelings and your intuition.  This man lost respect for you, and he felt that he had a right to dismiss you and treat you any kind of way.

He went from complimenting you to disrespecting you.  It sounds like he felt that you were going to put up with it, and you did.

There were times that your friends told you that this person acted like he didn't want to be with you, and you made all sorts of excuses for him.  You said that he was very tired from work, and It cost too much for him to take you out.  You even convinced yourself that you had gained weight, and that is the reason he was no longer interested.

Everybody noticed that he wouldn't look at you when you were talking.  All the signs were there.  Many times we put up with this kind of treatment because it is a learned behavior from our parents.  You are beautiful and worthy, but you don't see yourself as being worthy and enough.  When a man is acting in this manner, it usually means that he found someone else, which means that you have to let him go.  He isn't going to change. 

I encourage you to get counseling and read some self-help and relationship books.  They are very helpful.  I highly recommend this one.  This is what I did to change my life from being a victim.  Love yourself, make yourself happy, and then the right person will come along. 






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